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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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February 03, 2009


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Not to mention that when you go to a game, you will be buying beer, hot dogs or whatever.

That helps Mikey as well, doesn't it?


Well yes Randy, but see Project Mayhem task #3.

Absolutely true. It's not hard to watch in any city with a struggling sports team.

I live in Atlanta and sports teams don't do very well there (the Falcons do the best and they had a half-empty building at the beginning of the year). When I went to playoff hockey and basketball games in Boston, you really didn't hear the scalpers. You saw them, but you had to go to them. They knew it was a seller's market and they weren't desperate to unload, even if it was an hour before the game.

In Atlanta, before a NHL game, I see a) less scalpers and b) they are usually a little less obscure because they're desperately calling attention to themselves so they can unload their tickets. I think b) is related to a) and a) reflects that there aren't a lot of tickets being sold. Scalpers aren't about to go into a losing proposition with tickets.

It's up to the football fans of Cincinnati-- if they sincerely want change-- to not just boycott buying directly from the Bengals, but to make buying Bengals' tickets a losing proposition. If it isn't, expect the misery to continue.

As a broke college aged kid, I've wondered the same. The only time I ever get to go to Bungals games is if I'm literally given a ticket for free. This past year, my ten-year-old cousin played in the flag football game at halftime of the Browns-Bengals(and scored a TD!). PBS game us free tickets. If all I'm doin is walkin in for a few hours to see my cousin win (and us lose), is that going against what WDR and myself stand for?

colbert - obviously that situation is a little different since the ticket is being given away. so you going to that game isn't really a violation of the boycott (especially to see family play on the field).

but yeah, we'd still even encourage broke college aged kids to not seek out tickets at a discount anyway. once you're inside, it's tempting to buy food and drink too...

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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