Completely Unverified (But Hilarious) Rumors About The Bengals

In reference to my previous column about the Bengals being the last team with an on-line account manager, Comrade Robert passed along this gem of a story.  We don't know if this is true at all...but it sure is funny.  And probably true.  (If anyone was selling copiers back in the mid 1990's, we'd love to hear from you).

Your post reminded me of something the team photographer told me over 10 years ago. It seems at one point in the mid nineties the team was in need of a new copier. At the time during the season teams would make a ton of copies each week for the game plan. So one year just before the season started Mike Brown had a local sales rep come in and demo the latest and greatest in copiers. At the end of the presentation the salesman offered to leave the copier for a week for the team to try out. After a week he calls and Mikey says he's still thinking it over and keeps the copier for another week. This goes on for about six weeks. About week 5 Mikey has another company come in and demo their copier. He has the salesman leave the demo unit in a different room and when the first sales man calls the following week Mikey tells him no sale and the guy comes and picks up the demo. Short story long Mikey screws over 4 different salesmen and gets to use high end copiers for an entire season for FREE! After the season ended all the salesmen had crossed paths and figured out they'd all been had and quit offering sales demos to the team for a while if at all.

Comments

[Braveduck]

This is too funny not to be true. What would be more believable? Mike Brown giving back to the community by financially investing in educational and outreach programs or going to all the fast food restaurants in Cincinnati and stealing ketchup packets to use at PBS?

[Robinsgr]

Not at all surprising since MB is such a cheap bastard. Similar to the story about MB wanting the Wall Street Journal saleman to "take care of him" and give him a free subscription to the paper, even though the paper purchased advertising from the team.

Which reminds me - When are we going to threaten to boycott any business that sponsors or advertises with MB and the Bengals?

[Chris]

I stopped eating at Goldstar a few months ago, which was not easy. If Chipotle starts advertising with the Bengals I don't know what I'll eat.

[Ryan Smith]

I love that idea as well, boycotting the filth that supports this organization. Although I hate to say it Chris but who eats Gold Star anyway? Does this mean we have to stop drinking Coors though since they sponsor the entire NFL...?

[Fever]

If mikey put half the amount of effort into winning as he puts into being cheap I wouldn't be so depressed all the time.

[Chris]

This article put about the most disturbing image in my head that I have ever had. Mikey sticking his had down his pants and yanking out a pube to put on his salad at a restraunt to get a free meal. The only thing I think would be worse is picturing his son Katie doing the same thing.

[Robinsgr]

That is just too funny, Chris. Very possibly true, but funny.

[Robinsgr]

I'm thinking more along the lines of boycotting businesses that advertise in PBS, with the Bengals in their program, or on TV when they televise the pre-season games locally. I don't know if MB has to share this money or not. I was also thinking along the lines of another form letter we could print/sign and send to these businesses. Possibly Project Mayhem #9. Any thoughts?

[Inkstained]

I completely and totally and completely believe this story. Every word.