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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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February 19, 2009

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Hilarious indeed, always love a good laugh in the morning....

What a sad little man.He makes it hard to hate him sometimes.

Do you think Mikey Boy takes the Aramark Food Service uneaten hot dogs and "day old" pretzels after the Sunday home games?

Screw you guys if you think it didn't personally cost Mike Brown a lot of money to draft David Klingler. Klingler signed a $7 million dollar contract and threw 16 career touchdowns. For you uniformed dolts, that's $437,500 per touchdown. That's a shitload of bread - whether it be day old or freshly baked.

So way to go Mr. Brown for your savvy shopping skills. Your poor investments earned you the right to try and save some money.

http://archive.deseretnews.com/archive/245099/KLINGLER-SIGNS-NO-PRESSURE-NO-HYPE-CONTRACT-WORTH-7-MILLION-WITH--BENGALS.html

No way. Really? There's no way this can be true...Is he "THAT guy" that goes into Walgreen's for prescriptions, etc. and has twenty-eight coupons, pays with coins only and then still complains about how expensive everything is? I bet he uses this same protocol when signing players--that's why the Bengals wait 2 weeks to start to get proactive in free agency while every other team sings players in the first three days.

No way...seriously? Is Mikey B "THAT guy" that goes into Walgreen's for his groceries, prescriptions, etc. and pays with twenty-eight coupons, all coins and then still complains about how expensive everything is? I wonder is he uses this same protocol when signing players--that would explain why the Bengals wait 2 weeks before getting proactive in free agency when every other team signs players within the first three days.

How did the grand canyon get started?

A: MikeyBoy dropped a nickel in a ditch.


He is delusional, demented, and does not care about football...why would he go back and run the same schtick on those bakery people, everyday for weeks?

You know who else used to have a routine like that?

Charles Bukowski. Everyday he would go into the same bar, pick a fight with the bartender, and get his ass beat...the bartender started strolling thru it, like it was a dance...he knew the drill

I completely and truly and completely believe this story. Every word.

Tom

You know, this story sounds unbelievable, but when you consider there are many many mentally ill people in the world, it is entirely plausible that one would end up running a professional franchise. It just sucks its our franchise.

You are right, it doesn't have to be one or the other. If God is truly transforming us as leaders, the creativity should be evident and coming out of our pores.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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