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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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January 28, 2009

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I know few if any will agree with these comments (here at "The Revolution"), but the whole point of a revolution is to refuse to accept conventional wisdom, and to make some noise, so here's mine:

Doc's proposal that Brown & Co. unilaterally give better contract terms to Hamilton County is pure insanity. The opposite is true: Hamilton County better start figuring out how to get MORE money for the Bengals, not less. Or, if they don't, they better start figuring out how to transition to a new era where Cincinnati is no longer an NFL city.

The new stadium for the Cowboys costs $1 billion. The new Yankee Stadium costs $1.6 billion. And Doc is fretting about Cirque du Soleil parking revenue?

The new Meadowlands stadium for the Jets and Giants went from $800 billion when originally proposed to now at least $1.3 billion as it nears completion. IOW, the cost over-runs alone are MORE than the entire cost of PBS (a cost which included land purchased "for the Bengals" because land already owned by the county was given to the Freedom Center).

(Aside: the real cost of PBS is arguably much lower -- and the real cost of both the Freedom Center and the Great American Ball Park are arguably higher -- depending on how you allocate all the costs associated with the makeover of the riverfront: FWW, floodwalls, sewer lines, roads, utilities. Many of those expenses were mostly added to PBS, since PBS was "added" to the riverfront, while GAPB -- given it basically was built in the same spot as the old stadium -- wasn't assigned many new costs. And the Freedom Center got a free ride.)

In any case, looking forward, PBS is no "palace" as Doc puts it. Rather, it's just the opposite: the day is not far off when PBS is going to be considered, relative to its NFL peers, as a lower-tier stadium, and the Brown & Co. will start demanding -- as their agreement with Hamilton County specifies -- that the stadium be upgraded and kept comparable to their competition. Relative parity on the field, and relative parity on the accountant's ledger -- that's the modern NFL, and if the taxpayers can't handle it, then the team leaves. How many examples do we need to know this is true?

Why can't Cincinnati ever think bigger? It seems to me Cincinnati just can't afford NFL football.

(I know, I know.....the next line is "but Cincinnati doesn't have NFL football right now!" I get that. I have season tickets, too.)

I just read Doc's article. Nicely written. I was thinking after reading it that Mike Brown and his family live in this community. We live in this community. Why couldn't we boo him and his family like we do the Bengals on gamedays? I mean good boos like the one the old lady does in The Princess Bride to Buttercup whenever anyone sees one of the Brown family anywhere, in public, in restaurants, etc. Sure we might get kicked out but at least Mikey will feel it personally and could only avoid it by staying at home.

Just an idea for a project mayhem, maybe. Didn't know where else to write it.

interesting concept Kevin. However (now I don't live in Cincy anymore so someone help me out here)... aside from appearances at his secluded country clubs, has anyone ever seen a Mike Brown outside of its natural habitat? A very elusive creature I would surmise. If you can find it, boo away. But we must find it!! Also, I think video footage would be great as well. A true nature documentary fit for the Discovery Channel!

I am really suprised that this has not started. I hate to say it but I would go as far as to taunt him in public. Or even spit in his food if you were waiting on him. Or can't we hire some nut job from over-the-rhine to punch him in his pumpkin head? Thats where the money should be going and not to the billboards.

JMo,

You would assault Brown, or hire some "nut job" to assault him?

Perhaps Mr. Simon, an attorney, can explain to you the fine points of criminal law -- simple assault, aggravated assault, battery, etc.

And your other brilliant idea (raising money to organize acts instead of practicing free speech) also requires an explanation in the context of the criminal code.

Mr. Simon....a little editing of your forum is in order here. Get rid of that post.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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