IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
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20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)
29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
Yes, that is lame and sad.
Although, I am getting tired of your Steeler bashing. Let's stick to the theme of WDR.
Besides, why would you bash a SUCCESSFUL team. Isn't that what you want the Bungles to turn into?
Curious,
Randy
Posted by: Randy | January 27, 2009 at 12:11 PM
I just can't help myself. They make me so angry.
Posted by: Sleeping With Bieniemy | January 27, 2009 at 12:13 PM
Let's just throw them down a well and forget about them.
Posted by: Sly Vramavomovich | January 27, 2009 at 01:11 PM
Maybe if we put a f****n' violin in there, we will be seen as eclectic...too bad the steelers motif sets them back, like, 3 million violins...
I really did not need to see/hear that...thankfully, I could not finish it...had to permanently pause it, after about three seconds
Posted by: Hofbraunow | January 27, 2009 at 06:25 PM
is this a public service announcement for birth control? For the benefit of the human race, makes you want to punch every dude in Pittburgh right in the junk so they cannot reproduce. God hates us all.
Posted by: Capt. Steve-O | January 27, 2009 at 09:25 PM
Sounds like someone is jealous...
Horible childhood? Lack of talent? Both?
So really, what have you done to express yourself in a positive - better the world way. Cause this aint it brother!
Oh yeah - And what will you be doing Sun evening??? Watching Sixburgh win another!
Posted by: Steeler Nation | January 30, 2009 at 06:11 AM
Haha, the Steelers are forced to have a mascot that they themselves cannot stand...Steely McDumb...Steely McBum...Steely McBeeve
Posted by: Hofbraunow | January 30, 2009 at 07:00 PM
Wow, they're just kids. As much as I dislike the Steelers, I don't have it in my heart to tear down the hard work these kids did. At that age I probably couldn't of put together those lyrics (mainly because I was always high as a pre-teen) let alone play those instruments.
However, if they are full grown adults that just never grew bigger I fully support the bad mouthing.
Posted by: Nacho | September 22, 2009 at 09:31 PM