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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

Inaugural Post

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December 07, 2008


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Good work, Comrades... One question... Is that... Yeah, I think that's Hum-V's sidekick in the Manning jersey... Dude's prolly from Speedway, IN.

OK, answer me this... ...what in the fuck do you expect Marvin to say? Do you honestly expect him to step up to the mic and say: "We pretty much sucked the single hair out of the witche's ass today because we are hamstrung by upper management who hasn't the slightest fucking clue what they are doing and I am personally going to walk up to Mike's office in the morning and kick him in the ass!" Do you? Seriously, do you?

Think about it... ...Marvin even 'slightly' opens up on management, two things are going to happen -- one of them -- or more rightly, one person, will even use the second thing against him. If Marvin blames upper management, are you going to stand there and tell me that you aren't going to be the first fucking one to say: "Hey Marvin, it ain't all MBB, in case you haven't looked, you are the coach too so you have to take some of the blame!" Now do you think MBB is going to stand idly by whilst Marvin tips the scales on him or do you think that MBB is going to say: "Hey, yeah! Uhm, the real blame lies with the coach -- that's the one you should be blaming, not me! Yeah dat's da ticket!" Get fucking real! So now the second aspect to it is that every single GM and owner in the NFL, every little pipsqueak AD from Appalachicola State A&M University and School for the Terminally Stoopid, is going to see it and unless MBB has bent them over somewhere down the line (and MBB is very careful to take care of his own -- consider that Dave Shula hasn't said squat, Coslet hasn't said anything, Wyche may have been the most vocal but in reality, what has he said...) they are now going to look at Marvin Lewis as POISON! Don't you think for a minute that Marvin knows this? What in the FUCK is Marvin gunna do if he gets (effectively) 'blackballed' from all football? I'll tell you what he does... he goes home to the 'Missus' and the moment that she complains that 'Sunny' ain't got no new pair-a-shoes... what is Marvin going to tell her? I got fired? I can't get hired anywhere? We are going to go bankrupt... 'Sorry, Sunny dear!'

You are asking for Marvin to do what he CANNOT do. Can I explain it any clearer to you? So, instead of understanding the predicament that he is in, you choose to ridicule him because of his statements, the only statements that he could possibly make! My God! Listen to yourselves! Is Marvin not a good coach? Let me ask you... ...Was he a bad coach in year one or year two? NO? What made him a bad coach now? Tell me ONE SINGLE THING THAT HE HIMSELF WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT WAS BAD? The game didn't significantly change in that time. The game didn't leave him behind. So the 'change' has to come from an 'outside' source. I wonder oh who, praytell, could that be?

The only thing you can lay at Marvin's feet is that in order to be a head coach for a professional football team, he had to do certain things, sacrifice certain aspects in order to accomplish this and maybe he shouldn't have. If you want to blame him for that, I am with you on that one but that is a mere pittance of culpability compared to what is going on right now.

Get off Marvin's back! The blame lay squarely on the rather non-stout shoulders of one Mikey Boy Brown! Go blame him -- and keep on blaming him -- he is to blame -- but be aware that he doesn't give a flying fuck what you or me think -- he has no incentive to change and to top it all off, he gets to sit up on high and yell out: "Let them eat cake!" followed by the inimitable: 'It's good to be the King!'

Whoa. WC. Relax. Did Marvin say he was "very positive" we were going to win our last 3 games? Yes, he did. Did our signs in Indy blame Marvin? No. Did they blame Mike Brown. Yes... RELAX. The fact is, that quote SUMS UP EVERYTHING THAT THIS ORGANIZATION HAS COME TO, namely, A COMPLETE MOCKERY AND THE LAUGHING STOCK OF SPORTS ACROSS THE NATION. Do I, personally blame Marvin, of course not. It's funny how the man who Cincinnati once said "In Marvin we Trust" has been relegated to sheepishly lying to himself so he can keep his miserable job under the miserable Tyranny of Mike Brown. It's disgusting as a Bengals fan to hear this shit.

I will ridicule anyone, in any position who has delusions of grandeur and who will say anything to "appease the man." Marvin knows he is in shit job, with a shit boss coaching a shit team. But that does NOT take away from the fact that he looks like a weak "yes man" when he spews that nonsense out of his mouth week in and week out.

Come on WC, you and I both know that this starts with Mike Brown. We are on the same page here. But for a head coach of a team like THIS to come out and say that he is "very positive" that they are going to win the next 3 games is pathetic and, quite frankly, embarrassing.

That aside, I understand your frustrations and blame seems to get thrown in all directions during adversity. I am glad you are on our side in fighting Mikey Boy.

WC, we know that Marvin cannot say certain things, but that doesn't mean that he HAS to say certain things either. Even if he wants to stay positive in the locker room, he doesn't have to say the same baseless comments to the media and fans. He could have stuck to just spewing more of his nonsensical vomit about how the Bengals just need to make more plays, work to get better, blah blah blah. Instead, the man says he is positive they are going to win their last three games. Even more comical, he said he thought the defense played well. I don't care how much a team's offense leaves its defense out to dry, when you give up 30+ points, your defense did not play well.

Additionally, everyone knows that Mike Brown is to blame for all of this. However, I disagree with your view of Marvin. Marvin is not a good coach now and he was not a good coach in year 1 or 2 either. I give him credit; he came in and brought stability and motivation and the team made significant strides of improvement. But I believe that Cincinnati was so starved for progress that we remember those years more fondly then they actually were. In Marvin's first years, the Bengals still had no clue how to use challenges or manage the clock and had way too many delay of game, offsides and my favorite - too many men in the huddle penalties to allow this staff to be labeled as anything better than average and that's being generous.

2005 was a great year, but that was a blip on the radar. There were still way too many mistakes and penalties, the Bengals just had enough talent to overcome them that season.

To make matters worse, the SAME coaching and preparation mistakes are still being made years later. Again, no one will disagree that Mike Brown shoulders 99.99999% of the blame, but I also think most people would agree that Marvin is an average coach.

Does Mike Brown travel to away games? Was he in Indy yesterday?

Oh man, that P.M. #5 was *awesome* ... :)

Yes, Marvin did say that -- or at least I will take your word for it. So what's the point? Remember, MY point was: "What's his alternative?" and I showed examples how he was hamstrung -- why he had no real and/or practical alternatives. Marvin was blamed by the writer of the post that I was responding to. My only reference to the signs was that they weren't going to change the actions of one Mikey Boy Brown -- that's all. Futility to even put them up and considering that they aren't going to do anything... ...meeting that certain definition of insanity (that was spelled out in the Peter King article -- hence at best you are taking my comments out of context.

You state... "Even if he wants to stay positive in the locker room, he doesn't have to say the same baseless comments to the media and fans." -- did you not read what I wrote? I spelled it out in GREAT detail (using examples mostly) as to why he COULD NOT DO ANYTHING MORE because not only would he lose his job but he would 'never work in this town again!' Let me go even farther and say: Marvin could have taken the option to appear at the post game conference and say nothing more than: "We lost." but the moment that he would have done such a thing, he would have been crucified by the 'Marvin Haters' because he was avoiding the situation -- MY FUCKING GOD! The guy can't 'win' for losing (pun intended). He's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't! So now let's say that Marvin chooses to show his contempt for the situation by not going to the post-game press-conference... ...You do realize that the NFL will levy a fine on him for doing that right? You do understand that there has to be a reason why he doesn't go to the PC don't you? You do see that MBB clearly understands why Marvin doesn't show up don't you? You've figured it out that MBB sees this as an affront to himself and that it will (in the least) create friction between MBB and Marvin Lewis? You do understand that this is how the coach/front office relationship erodes and the coach gets fired (and as I stated before, the 'whole ball of wax' starts and MBB makes sure that Marvin can't work for the aforementioned: Appalachicola State A&M University and School for the Terminally Stoopid? Do you get that?

more to follow...

Despite his support for the cause that guy in the Colts jersey is still a tool...(from what I understand, he is an aspiring rapper - good luck B-rabbit)

You made the comment: "Do I, personally blame Marvin...?" The person who wrote the post that I was responding to most certainly did (though not only Marvin -- but Marvin nonetheless) and that was what I was addressing -- a person blaming Marvin. I wanted the record set straight and I tried my best to say: You don't have a fucking clue in the world (to that person) but in a nice way -- at least as nice as I could make it.

Right now, Marvin isn't trying to 'appease the man.' He is trying to ensure his viability towards another job in the football field! Again, I took great pains to illustrate this. It's awfully hard to stand up against your employer -- especially in this case -- namely because there are so few places to turn to. Idealistically, I would like to see him stand up and rip Brown a new one but I understand why he CAN'T -- now why he won't but he CANNOT!

You say that you don't blame Marvin yet you go out of your way to do exactly that (re: not standing up for what's right and lying to himself)! Again, WHAT CHOICE DOES MARVIN HAVE? Look, Marvin, so long as he doesn't violate a clause in his contract etc., is NOT going to get fired. Marvin's 'punishement' is that he has to stay here and sit there and take it until his contract is over. He can't quit and he isn't going to get fired? Do you understand what that means? So blaming Marvin for anything when he can't do a fucking thing about it is nothing more than a cheap shot from someone who doesn't have a bit of common sense.

Again, you ask me to come on... but yet you are not getting the whole point of what I wrote: "WHAT COICE DOES MARVIN HAVE? If he says positive things, he gets ripped by the fans and that makes him a 'tainted object.' If he says negative things, he gets ripped by the fans because he is a 'Negative Nelly'!; then to top that off, he gets ripped by his boss for being disloyal (and his boss has to make a decision and fires him then has summer meetings in Hawai'i and makes sure to tell the other owners and GM's about how disloyal Marvin was (remember, it has to do with loyalty and that is it -- no one cares that Mikey Boy is as inept as can be...)) If he says nothing, the NFL fines him and probably fines Mike Brown (and that old addage of 'Shit rolls down hill, comes into vogue) and Marvin is fucked that way. Now I ask you to tell me what in the holy fucking hell can Marvin do? The only way that ANY coach that comes in here doesn't get the same treatment is to take away the person who is committing the treatment -- that means that in the case of an owner, they either sell the team (which we know isn't going to happen) or at least insofar as the city housing the team is concerned, the teams leaves (and as I documented before... we missed that chance a few years back because of some selfish pricks -- also previously documented)).

Is the situation embarrassing? Yep -- if you let it be or are into such a thing. Is it pathetic? Sure it is -- but in both cases it is the situation -- not what Marvin is/has or will do.

I just want MBB gone and I understand that the problem lies solely with him -- not Marvin Lewis. I just want people off of Marvin's back -- he can't do anything other than he's doing.

CA, I think that earlier in this missive that I've shown that Marvin can indeed be punished for what he DOESN'T say as well as for what he DOES say. Let's just take the quote that you are talking about... that he's positive that they are going to win their last three games... and think about it for a second. Let's say that Marvin says nothing... he is going to get slammed by the fans for not being positive -- in a bad situation dontcha know. Let's say he comes out and says the team is horrible... the fans will ridicule him by saying something along the lines of: "What took you that long to figure it out?" Then he gets a rap on the door by some flunky telling him to report to MBB's office. Now MBB rips him for ripping the team. Then we have the option of Marvin ripping MBB personally -- to wit, he gets fired -- and all the baggage that comes along with that.

As to the idea that he wasn't a good coach... may I give you exhibit number one... he turned a miserable well below sub-500 team to 8-8 then over ten wins and the conference championship? He did it with quite a bit of the dead wood that his preceding coach had brought in. One does not do that if he doesn't know how to coach -- PERIOD. It was NOT a case of Cincinnati being so deprived and starving that Marvin attained the labels that he did... ...if that weren't the case, it would have been rich adoration for a 5-11 team one year, then maybe 8-8 the next... NO! He took the team OVER 10 wins that second year and none were 'flukey' in nature -- to deny that is to deny reality. Your assumption that he wasn't a good coach is not proved out by the actual record.

You say that 2005 was 'a blip on the radar' but yet you forget to acknowledge that those were the days when MBB was not meddling with the team and that when the team started to decline was EXACTLY when MBB was fucking with it again and undermining Marvin.

I would be willing to bet that people who know about football would rank Marvin as being a great coach in a terrible situation in such that the situation is likely to reduce his legacy. He is not an average coach but a well-above average one.

damn wc. i have to give you credit. you defend ol lewis tooth and nail. there are few who would support the coach of a 2 win team in week 16 with such vigor.

you seem to be saying that lewis is not to blame whatsoever for the bengals demise, and that if he ever spoke up about the bengals in a non-positive way he would be fired and consequently barred from coaching football forever.

i will agree with you that it required a good coach to raise the bengals up out of the muck. he brought a new energy that reinvigorated the team as well as the city. in '05 everything fell into place and we all know what happened...

since that time lewis has been much less effective. (good coaches can go bad- look at holmgren)does brown have something to do with that? of course. but you've got to believe lewis is the second coming not to hold him at least somewhat responsible.

as noted by comrade adam, lewis has demonstrated an obvious lack of understanding in clock management and red flag throwing. look at the giants game: the bengals driving against the super bowl champs, get the ball down within striking range, and let- what?- 10? 15 seconds run off between plays when taking a timeout earlier would have given them at least a chance to win the game.

he has also lost his grip on the team. look at '06 and the record breaking season of arrests. does this happen to a coach who has control over his team?

on the "what choice does he have FUCKING GOD?!?!" front. a) is mike brown the emperor palpatine of the football universe? how much influence does he have? are you telling me that if lewis actually located his spine and uttered something not nice about brown, he would be forever shunned? b)if lewis was out of work for a while would he truly find himself in the dire straits you have posited? he will make $2.75 million in 2008- i wanna guess he might be able to survive for a little while.

and in closing i'd just like to note the african proverb: "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." is marvin lewis really part of the solution now? if you believe so, keep buying those concessions.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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