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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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December 26, 2008

Reminder - WDR Party this Sunday at Blackfinn

NCINWhoD Friends don't let friends give Mike Brown $7 for a beer (or $70 for 10 beers.) For this reason, your friends at WDR have teamed up with Blackfinn to bring you our End of the Season Party this Sunday, December 28th from 12pm-5pm, during the final game of the Bengals season.  Roughly 0% of the proceeds will go to Mike Brown. 

There will be no cover for all the heroes who donated their tickets to the Chiefs game to Lighthouse Youth Services. For everyone else, we are asking for a $5 donation that will go towards future WDR Project Mayhem Tasks. BlackFinn will be offering $1 Miller Lite pints, $4 pitchers and FREE food throughout the game. We will also be giving away free WDR t-shirts at the end of each quarter (but you might have to do a push-up or two to win them.)

Long story short, if you were planning on going to the game, you should come here instead.  The ticket is already a sunk cost.  If you were planning on tailgating but had no plans for gametime, make your way up to Blackfinn. If you were planning on having a get together in your mancave, bring it on down to Blackfinn and raise your glass to the Revolution.

So we hope to see all our fellow WhoDeyRevolutionaries at BlackFinn this Sunday for some cheap beer, free food and revolutionary discussions.  And if this post was not enough to get you to Blackfinn on Sunday, hopefully this will.


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Posted by on December 26, 2008 at 09:04 AM in Food and Drink, Music, Soul Cleansing, Sports, Taking the Who Dey Revolution to the People, Tale Gate |

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unfortunately will not be able to make it. Hope bengals win just can't help myself to always root for them even thought Mike is an idiot. http://www.CTSportsPicks.com

Posted by: ct | December 26, 2008 at 02:03 PM

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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