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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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December 01, 2008


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Un-fucking-believable. When we write these articles about Mike Brown not caring and simply not having a clue, a part of me hopes that it's just a conspiracy theory and that things are actually OK behind the scenes. And then Mike Brown speaks, and I realize that things are 100% as bad as we can possibly imagine.

It is so crystal clear from his statements that he does not care AT ALL how this team performs. To say that anyone is doing a good job or that you are pleased with ANYTHING in a 1-10-1 season is a fucking insult to every single fan of this team.

Mike Brown will NEVER, EVER change. He is a completely delusional, totally self-involved, abhorrently greedy egomaniac. If he does anything short of expanding the scouting department and hiring a GM this offseason, I am done with the Bengals. I can already see them drafting a WR #2 overall in 2009, and it makes me physically ill.

Go fuck yourself, Mike Brown. That's a pretty common "theme" among fans for the last 18 years.

odell is our best defensive player? i am trying to type while i upchuck this guy is so flipping outta the loop. i hate the bengals i am such a douchebag i love the bengals. mikey boy brown get a clue

I didn't read one thing about that article that didn't make complete sense. I wish that something could happen top Mike Brown to make him realize that Bengals fans hate him. He is in denial about the Bengals doing badly, and eventually he'll probobly resort to comparing the Bengals to the Cardinals, some teams take longer to develop than others. Now I don't know alot about Cardinal's history so I don't know if their existance has just been bad luck or if it was continuous management problems, but I do know that the Bengals COULD be a good team if Mike Brown would put some effort and money into the team. For god sakes, he beat the IRS, he cant be hurting for money. If there was a way to force Brown to look at this website and read through your explanations, I think that either he'd once again prove that he has no competence whatsoever, or maybe, just maybe, he'd actually open his eyes to the real problems of the team. And really, we are telling him EXACTLY how to fix the team, it can't get much easier.

Honestly, with the last 20 years, you would think that Bengals fans would abandon their team, or the Bengals would leave like the colts did so many years ago. But the fans are so loyal to the team that we allowed Brown to build his precious stadium which didn't help at all. Infact we lost one of the best kickers in the league because he looked terrible on that crappy field, I'm talking of Rackers of course. We saw what happened when he left. I just think that Bengals fans deserve more than this.

Its not all Brown's fault... why? Because he doesn't actually have the ability to play a position, aside from that you can't blame very much on anyone else. I think Marvin Lewis would be a terrific head coach if he had a different owner watching him, and giving him the freedom that he needs. Let Marvin do the drafting, hire a GM for all its worth. Make sure we KNOW that our drafts will be good with a decent scouting program, and with that new program will come a better knowladge of the other teams.

Mike Brown is an idiot, and I really wish that he would sell the team. Just not to rodger goodell, if there is one person who is almost or just as stupid as brown its goodell

What a waste of Hall Of Fame Sperm!!

Let's talk about the softballs that the these douchebags lobbed him. How's about a little pressure? Mike Brown needs to get hit by a car driven by a football GM on his way into work. Period.

Kyle - that is a double negative

Mike Brown is metaphorical double negative. He can take a negative (i.e. Bengals sucking) add another negative (i.e. Odell Thurman) and somehow try to come up with a positive (e.g. we wouldn't be so shitty if we had Odell Thurman for those 3 games before he would have got suspended again).

As with any organizational failure, it all starts at the top. But I really wish that people would quit saying that Marvin would be a better coach if he had better players. I would be a millionaire if I had more money. Seriously, I have unfortunately invested in the NFL ticket so I can watch this team divulge me of any hope I ever had for a winning Bengals franchise. And I can say that Marvin and Brat both appear to be terrible coaches. The jury is still out on Simmons since I am sure it is difficult for any D coordinator to look compitent when his unit is on the field for 90% of the game. But Brat is just brutal, running plays on 3rd and 12? And they can't complete any passes. Are the players really that bad? Have they really just quit playing? I would at least think some are trying, like TJ, because he is in a contract year. But has Chad really become that bad? Or is the play calling just that brutal.
All that being said, I do think they would complete more passes if they fitted Fitz with some stilts so he wasn't constantly throwing the ball at the hands of defensive linemen.

i would suggest the bengal fans that are sick of this crap from mike brown have a rally at fountain squre invite the media and show the nation that we are fed up

Reading that interview made me want to go play in oncoming traffic. I know we all have criticized Mikey Boy for not speaking to the media or to the public (myself included) but I NEVER want to read an interview with this smug bastard until the day the Revolution forces a hostile takeover. On that day, the interview will be a straight up interrogation.

This was a cupcake interview. He was at least questioned about the GM arguments, and like the shister attorney he is, he just avoided the question. I think he got a lesson from "Slick" Willy Clinton.

Hey Mike... I KNOW you hear about our Revolution and I KNOW you will feel your pockets becoming shallow. Man up and have a sit down interview with WDR under the hot lamp. Look your true fans in the face.

Thanks for ruining another year. You're pretty good at that.

Mike Brown. Oh how I wish I could quit you.

Mike's not delusional, any more than Ted Haggard was. He's just like Ted, he knows that the team sucks, he just doesn't give a shit! He gets up and says this shit to make it sound like he's clueless. Chumley goes home every night and says to himself "Man, I have those fuckers fooled! And now, I'm going to take off all my clothes and roll my corpulent, pale, sore-ridden body around in this giant fucking pile of money that I make"

This grass fucker is a superior class of greedy asshole and is going to do everything he can to keep milking us douche bags for every last dime he can. Mike Brown is a world champion rectal wart licking fucktard and will likely live another 30 years, ensuring that I will never see another Monday night game again with my beloved Bengals. And douche bag that I am, I will continue to hope and pray to my God that this year will be different.

Mike Brown drives the good men and women of this town to drink our pain away. He is an ass spelunking sadist who lives not on food or water, but the hopes and dreams of the people of southwest Ohio.

Stinky Mexican Farts!

The Nightmare continues

Ah, Mike Brown's naive pursuit of repeating 2005. As I read this, I thought that I will see you all at the same time, same place next year for the same conversations. Its going to take death to deliver us!

It's an insult to our fan base's intelligence to say that this is one of those "themes" when the job doesn't go so well.

Mike, we have almost gone TWO DECADES with just one winning season. What's the common denominator for all these years? YOU!!!! Your failure to see that you don't know anything about the game of football has ran this franchise into the ground.

This one starts at the top. Mike, it's time to give your ego a rest and realize that you cannot run a professional football franchise by yourself. Not many people can. It's time to get a legitimate system in place with a good football mind for a general manager and increase the scouting department. You can't ask the coaching staff to also be scouts when they are only getting a pay check as a coach.

Let the GM manage, let the scouts scout, let the coaches coach, and let the players play, and you can sit back and reap the benefits of the profit of a winning team and a reviving fan base without having to do anything yourself. Everyone wins.

You ARE the theme, Mike. And you sound like this:

I think there needs to be a fan protest at the next Bengals game in which everyone brings signs that say "The theme is: WE WALK!" and march outside the stadium.

Anything playing off of the word "theme," really.


You people are ALL missing the point for Mikey Boy... he wants to make money. He doesn't care how much so long as he is profiting. He has no incentive to field a better team because he already makes enough money in revenue sharing to assure that he makes said profit.

Mikey Boy Brown runs the Bengals like business (which, to be honest, it is). That means he needs to be profitable and as I've already said, he can field a horrid product and still be profitable. He cannot be fired by the league and he knows that. He runs this as a business and that is about it. He doesn't have a second business that he can funnel profits and losses and tax situations through like an Eddie DeBartolo and the 49ers etc. He has -- JUST THE BENGALS. I hate to inform people of this but even the vaunted New England Patriots DO NOT MAKE MONEY! Robert Kraft has other sources of making money -- the Patriots are his 'play-thing'. To win in the NFL, you will operate at a loss because you will pay the full amounts of salary caps etc. That is not what MBB is all about.

We just need to know that we missed our opportunity to tell MBB to get sit and spin -- when we voted in the stadium -- when we voted with our hearts rather than our heads. Now we got to live with it.

As to the comment about Goodell, I will give you that. Some of his things (like making a 'horse-collar' tackle illegal -- and not allowing even a quarter of a step on a defenseman rushing the QB then hitting him after the throw...) are a joke. The only thing good about him is his wife.

WC - Given the cushy leasing deals and revenue sharing it is quite easy to make a TON of money on an NFL franchise. You do not have to operate at a loss to win in the NFL.

In fact, a winning team would make the Bengals much more profitable long term. Beefing up the front office, hiring scouts, building indoor facilities and hiring a world class medical staff would not substantially raise the cost of running the Bengals (the one time expenditure for indoor facilities might take a year or two's profits though) and it would produce millions of additional revenues each year in merchandise, increased ticket prices (club, suite and luxury too), sponsorships and concessions, etc.

However, that does not matter to Mike Brown. People confuse Mike Brown wanting to make a profit with his wanting to simply do it his way. Meaning: run the show with his family in charge and no one else of consequence. Sure he is notoriously cost conscious but that is not the real source of the Bengal's woes. His desire to keep it in the family is.

How many of you die-hards felt sick while reading this? His ignorance/arrogance is unbelievable! His ego will search for ANYTHING positive to take out of this season, no matter how bleak the outcome. Carson got beat up all pre-season & went 0-4 before getting pummeled to the point of season-ending injury...& he is the key reason we are losing? What I take out of this is that Mr. Brown thinks we are all idiots & will actually buy that load of garbage...anyone else feel insulted when he talks about us and our "themes"?? Like we are all sheep and just say what everyone else is saying? Well Mike, there is damn good reason everybody (including Boomer & Collinsworth) are saying you need to admit your failures & hire a G.M.!!! But it's now obvious to me Mikey doesn't have a rational bone in his body...

How many of you die-hards felt sick while reading this? His ignorance/arrogance is unbelievable! His ego will search for ANYTHING positive to take out of this season, no matter how bleak the outcome. Carson got beat up all pre-season & went 0-4 before getting pummeled to the point of season-ending injury...& he is the key reason we are losing? What I take out of this is that Mr. Brown thinks we are all idiots & will actually buy that load of garbage...anyone else feel insulted when he talks about us and our "themes"?? Like we are all sheep and just say what everyone else is saying? Well Mike, there is damn good reason everybody (including Boomer & Collinsworth) are saying you need to admit your failures & hire a G.M.!!! But it's now obvious to me Mikey doesn't have a rational bone in his body...

I am so done. After hearing Mike mock us like that in his interview, that makes me sick. We do nothing but support his piece of shit team year in and year out and he wants to mock us. All we ask for is a winning team. Hell right now I'd be happy with 8-8. You don't have to win a super bowl right away for me to be happy. Just give me something Mike. I'm trying so hard to forget the fucking Bengals and root for someone else. I'm desperately trying. Mike, you've completely ruined professional football in this city forever. After your old ass dies, we will be stuck with your dipshit daughter who will run us further into the ground. The Brown/Blackburn family will never change. Fuck you all!!!

Take it easy, Mike. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while...

Mike Brown has never understood that NFL teams have to be built around the interior defensive and offensive lines. Paul Brown understood this, which is why his very first Bengal draft pick was Bob Johnson, a center. It's never been more true than today if you look at the competition in the AFC North. Mike thinks the only thing that matters are the skill players. The scariest thing in his interview is his belief that all we need is Carson back. He simply doesn't know what it takes to be successful in the NFL.

I'll tell you how this diehard felt reading that vomit-inducing Q&A. Pissed enough to wish he had ass cancer. A lengthy, painful bout of ass cancer that leaves him lingering in severe and unabating pain for fucking years. I haven't hated someone this much since my old boss. You know how I controlled that hatred of her? Moved on. You know how I'm controlling my hatred of him? Moving on. I started boxing up all my Bungals shit last night and I'm mailing it back to this motherfucker with a letter. Will it matter to King Brown? Hell no. Will it make me feel much better? Fuck yeah. Comrades, I'll support you in spirit.

That's it. I'm officially done with this team. There is no way that this relic of an owner is going to make any sort of meaningful changes. From the above interview it is completely apparent that he is either a) out of touch with reality, or b) has no desire to win. I think the only real solution is to have the franchise move to another city and cross our fingers that we can land a new team in the next decade. I used to think that if numb-nuts died maybe things would be different; however, I don't think I have any faith in Katie, Troy, Pete, or Paul either. That whole gene pool has been poisoned with the hapless loser gene. I'm done. No more watching them, no more buying their shit, I'm not even going to mention them any more to anyone. This team is dead to me. Now the only problem is picking a new team...I live in Denver but hate the donk-o's but at least they find a way to win and the term "win" is never preceding by the word "almost" when the coach or owner is looking to polish some turds.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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