Marvin Lewis to Rosie O'Donnell: "Those Pants Don't Make You Look Fat"

Don't worry Bengals fans - everything is going to be all right.  Marvin Lewis said so!  In his post-game press conference after yesterday's pathetic 34-3 loss, after rattling off the same excuses he uses every week (too many injuries, have to execute, one play here or there and it would have been a different outcome), Marvin let Bengals fans know that next year will be different. 

WDR Hero Paul Daugherty asked Marvin: "Could you go through another season like this?''  Marvin responded: "Our football team won't go through another season like this...Nor will our fans. Believe me.''

Marvin, we believe you!  We don't even need to hear any more details!  The Bengals organization has built up so much trust with Bengals fans over the last memorable 18 seasons  - no need to make any drastic changes.  Things are going so well!

Marvin, we all know that Mike Brown doesn't pay coaches not to coach, so after six years of coaching, zero playoff wins and a double digit loss season with two more years on your contract - don't plan on going anywhere!  You have the player's respect.  Don't worry about Ocho Sleepo.

With 20 total yards in the first half yesterday, further solidifying the Bengals as the worst offensive team in the NFL, Bratkowski is doing a great job!  Make sure he keeps calling plays. It's not his fault, its the injuries!  Ignore the fact that the Saints are 6-6 and have 16 players on IR, and the Ravens, the same team who beat you twice this season with a Rookie QB and RB have 15 on IR and are now 8-4.

Most importantly, don't do anything that might shake the boat. Keep defending Mike Brown.  Don't call for a change in the player personnel department.  The Bengals and Bengals fans need a leader - and what we have is a "yes-man."

Comments

[WC]

I know you guys don't care too much for Marvin... (like that is the secret understatement of the year...) but I think Marvin had two decent years where he had the control of the team and during that time, things changed. However, I think Mikey Boy couldn't keep his hands out of the cookie jar and started meddling and subsequently Marvin started to go (for lack of a better term) into a shell. I mean, go back and look at Marvin's demeanor during the first two years and see how it declines even when the Bengals are 'holding their own'.

It is almost an eery sight to see -- the man goes from confident to annoyed -- why? My bet is that was the start of Mikey Boy meddling again? Think about it, for years we all got to see the inevitable 3rd and 9 and the Bengals would run a draw? Remember those days? Tell me how much different it was than the shenanigans against Philadelphia? What'd they have? 3rd an 12 or something like that and (yes, I know, they didn't run a draw but....) they run it up the gut.

I think Marving is trying to put the best light on this situation that he can. Yes, he could put his foot down (perhaps on Mikey Boy's (proverbial) neck) and tell Mikey Boy Brown to kiss his arse... but to do that would slit his own throat for future jobs within the NFL -- and Marvin is NOT going to do that. It is how he survives -- he isn't going to cut off his nose to spite his face. Think about it. Marvin is in 'shut-up' mode. He knows he isn't going to get fired by Mikey Boy Brown (But I'd be willing to bet that he would welcome such a thing as he now has experienced the wonderful, wild, and whacky world that is the micro-managing, Cincinnati Bengals and the one and (hopefully) only, Mikey Boy Brown.

So Marving knows that he isn't going to get out of his contract (generally speaking). He is in a dead-end hell hole job and can quit but won't be working in football at all. The man has a family and he has to eat... he can't quit. I would bet that MBB has a 'no-compete' clause in the contract that keeps Marvin from doing ANYTHING remotely associated with football -- from announcer to the guy that dries off the footballs before they go into play. So what can Marvin do?

If Marvin up and quits... who is going to hire him? Would another owner take a shot at the guy? Knowing that the guy blasted out his team owner... no one would touch him. Thus, Marvin is stuck between a rock and a hard place. What can he do? Where can he go?

People we ALL need to stop including Marvin in our rants as to what is the reason for the team performing so poorly. Marvin can't control that! Marvin's a good guy caught in a bad situation. About the only thing that you can say bad about him (and this is REALLY reaching) is that he 'sold his soul' for the ability to get that 'Head Coach' monniker behind his name.

Lay off Marvin and just keep pounding Mikey Boy Brown! It won't get him to sell the team or make things better (unless they get a miracle that coincides with Mikey Boy still being in charge (ala three years ago) but it will at least put things into proper perspective. About the only thing we can do is to put so much pressure on MBB from all directions that he casts yet another threat to leave -- and this time, we tell him to leave town!

Note: I've already told you that he could lose EVERY fan in the stands and all the retail sales etc. and what with revenue sharing in the NFL, he would still make a profit (though comparatively small) to continue being the owner. The man has NO incentive to put a better team on the field.

Just remember, the moment that Mikey Boy Brown makes the threat (implied or otherwise) to leave -- tel him to leave. That is our ONLY chance to be rid of the PITA that is Mikey Boy Brown.

[Sleeping With Bieniemy]

WC - I agree that Mikey Boy couldn't keep his hands off (particularly once the success of Tom Coughlin in New York reminded him that Tom was his guy and Marvin was everyone else's - nevermind that the Gmen success has little to do with Coughlin) the Bengals like he did for about two years it seems.

However, why is it acceptable for anyone to basically give up on the job? Be snarky with local press and outgoing with national press? Your reputation is on the line no matter how much your boss is hindering your ability. Make a public stink if it is that bad. The downside is not that bad when you think through the second or third level of consequences (after you get fired).

I think you can very much include Marvin in any rants about the Bengals at this point. Just never forget he took the Bengals as far as anyone has been able under Mike Brown.

[Pal]

WC, have you seen Marvin manage a game?-he's a terrible coach. You're giving him way too much credit. Unfortunately, we have no chance of ever getting a legitimate coach(Browns' appear to be in the running for Cowher). The only coaches we will get are like our free agents-personnel no other teams want.

[WC]

Sleeping... I don't think it is acceptable but look at it this way, if you were in that position and your boss told you that no matter what you tried to do, he was going to do what he wanted to do and if it conflicted with your designs, 'tough titty!' -- which is pretty much what MBB's done with Marvin. I don't know that I'd say that Marvin has given up -- in the classical sense -- just that his hands are tied and he is trying to put the best face on things that he can so he can remain viable to another team in the future. He wants to show any other coach or GM that he is loyal and that he can win if he is left alone etc. Sure, the other owners and GM's out there know about MBB and his garbage but regardless of those facts, they don't want to hire someone who will (and has done before) sell out their bosses. Marvin has a family and they 'have to eat' and he can't cut off his nose to spite his face.

Think of how things will play out. Two years from now, MBB will cut Marvin loose and Marvin will probably become a linebackers coach with a bottom-tiered team and turn that part of the defense around. He will probably get promoted to Defensive Coordinator and then things will start over again -- but for the last time, as by that time he will be too old to go through the rig-a-ma-roll again. Marvin knows that this is the way that it will probably happen -- so long as he doesn't hang MBB out to dry. MBB is smart -- at least smart enough to know that he won't throw Marvin under the bus or then, Marvin can fire 'all of his guns!' At that point, Marvin can re-embark on his career plans.

Pal: I've seen him in a game and I've seen what he did in 2003, 2004 and then in 2005 and the excitement that he brought to this city and I've seen that when MBB started meddling in Marvins' business -- where you saw a 3rd and long and the Benglas run a run up the middle! Your statement is fallacious in that regard. Then we come to the statement that: "The only coaches we will get are like our free agents..." How quickly you forgot that when Marvin first came to the team, he was one of the most sought after coaches in the league. I was actually surprised that MBB snapped him up. Dick Lebeau was a hot commodity when we gave him the reigns. Again, your statement is fallacious.

You are, however, correct in saying that we have little chance of getting a coach (not necessarily legitimate because I've already debunked that...) of the level of Cowher. My question to you will be this: When Cowher accepts the job and just kind of treads water, will you then be willing to change your statement reflecting your approval of Cowher? As for the Bengals team, there aren't very many people who would want the job in Cincinnati simply because of the owner. It has to be a situation where there is nowhere else to go or to try to instigate a career etc. That's the reason that we have a problem with a big named coach -- but then again, Paul Brown also did something like that when he failed to hire Bill Walsh as head coach back in the day.