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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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December 05, 2008

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I'm moving to Pittsburgh if this happens. Yeah, I said it.

Yeah, as a Buck fan, theres no way we should pick a RB at all. I would love to have Beanie, but even w/o the injury arguement, its a terrible idea. I relate this to the Mario Williams-Reggie Bush debate. if you could only take one of those for this team, who would it be? It would definately be Mario for me.

OMG...I had a horrible dream last night. I was on my way upstairs to retire for the evening when I heard an awful commotion (squealing?) coming from the guest bedroom. Panicked, I opened the door and was witness to Mike Brown sodomizing Baghdad Hob, with an evil grimace on his pale face. It was like watching Humpty Dumpty butt-fuck all of the kings men. But that wasn't the worst part...as I stepped backward, in shock, preparing to bolt back down the stairs...Katie Blackburn blindsided me with a nightstick. When I came to, I was in a tent in Indian Hills, shackled, with a sore ass and leftover chicken tenders from the Jacksonville game spread out in front of me.

Needless to say I'm not going to sleep tonight.

In football, you win if you dominate the line of scrimmage. If the take Beanie in the 1st (or a wide receiver...another position Baghdad Hob has dropped as a possiblity)...it will again set this franchise back another five years. Carson can throw to anyone...he does not need top flight WR talent. Franchise Housh, cut Chad, and lets move on with our lives. We did draft two receivers in the top 3 rounds for a reason last year...right?

We drafted two wide receivers last year? Funny, I haven't seen either of them. Too bad football isn't more like baseball, when the season is in the tank you throw in some of the young kids and see what you may have to build around next year.
Unfortunately, we were forced into seeing what we have in Crazy Legs. All that being said, even if Simpson and Caldwell were on the field, we probably wouldn't notice because CL can't get them the damn ball.
Do you think his passes get knocked down in pre-game warmups too? I could just picture Pat Sims running over and swatting his passes down in his pre-game game of catch. Of course Sims would miss though because no one on the Bengals can get to the quarterback. But, if you put Giachic in front of him, maybe Sims would get there. Everyone gets by him. Boy now I am really perplexed. It is almost like two immovable forces.

Beanie!!!! Wooo, can't wait til the Bengals ruin his career!!!

Lets give Mikey a little LeeWay (see how i did that) here. He drafted Corey Dillion and Rudi, Mikey has a great track record of drafting RBs in the first or 2nd round. Just forget about Ki Jana, Perry, Irons (injuries, but you know).

On WR, Mikey drafted Chad and TJ....just forget about Peter Warrick (remember him), our crop this year, Tab Perry, etc.

When you think about all the "skill" players we draft in the first and 2nd rounds it makes me want to puke.

Didn't Mikey Draft Kajana Carter out of Penn State ahead of Tony Boselli.They had no offensive line line back then and looked what happened to Kajana Carter.They Turned him into Vagina Carter after he got hurt.

HEY MIKEY YOU DONT DRAFT A RUNNING BACK HIGH WITHOUT A OFFENSIVE LINE.IF YOU WANT TO KEEP PALMER ALIVE UPGRADE THE O LINE.

Don't worry, next year Odell Thurman and David Pollack will be playing linebacker, so our defense will be solid!

We need to get Chumley enrolled in a twelve step program, but we can't get the corpulent swine to admit he has a fucking problem. I'm looking forward to the step where he has to go around and apologize to every one he's harmed.

Hey Guys go above a little and check out Tremains Cracks Comments,its pretty funny.

Great stuff. The best part of WDR is we all know that Mikey, Katie, and Troy(when he has time after washing the cars and grocery shopping)read this. The rest of the front office is probably illiterate.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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