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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« WDR Season Prediction Fulfilled; Do Not Get Fooled Again | Main | Honorary Member of the Who Dey Revolution: Rick Brunsman »

December 31, 2008

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Yes it's true...to quote Andy Mac quoting Yogi Berra,

IT'S DEJA-VU ALL OVER AGAIN

These last few wins *truly* have nothing to do with next year...they NEVER do

I've said it before; even if hell freezes over and the Bengals (how dare I even make 'conjecture') win the Super Bowl next year, it still wouldn't make up for the last 18 years...it's not a matter of impatience, it's a matter of INSANITY, as so eloquently defined by Albert Einstein

1. You need to fix the label in the win % column of your spreadsheet to say 2nd half wins instead of 1st half wins.
2. You should say "they" instead of "we" when referencing the Bungles, lest you undermine us all.
3. The urinal cakes were genius!

1. Done
2. You screw these things up when you have limited time to throw something up
3. Thanks

Ive been on the fence back and forth with the season tickets renewel. Thanks to you guys (the voice of reason), I have reason to pay that fat, stupid prick one more fucking dime of my money. If I need single game tickets, Im sure that I will have no problem getting them at face or less on stubhub.

Outside of being completely stubborn and claiming you're the ultimate fan through thick and thin, there is absolutely no reason to be a season ticket holder at this juncture. You can buy tickets before the game for less than $10 (seriously).

I trust that a great deal of former stubborn ticket holders will not renew because this website (for which I am grateful) has truly exposed Mike Brown's ineptitude and has called out Bagdad Hob for the fraud that he is.

I would like to additionally point out that the Bengals went 0-3 to finish 2006 and 0-2 to finish 2003, the only two seasons where winning late-season games would have meant anything. Second-half games become far less winnable to Mikey when they actually have consequences.

BMN

This only proves the stupidity of the homer Bengal fans that always look for a reason to see the glass as half full.

WDR believes the glass is half full... of urine!

Ooh baby, I love that Palenque comp. Great picks Jason!

Of course, covering up was not an option.I choose the positive side of life

The comments to this entry are closed.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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