Two Great Enquirer Articles

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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

Preamble
IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

Introduction

WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

Manifesto Demands

THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

November 03, 2008

Congratulations to the Bengals players and coaches. You played hard and you deserved that win. Congratulations to all of the Comrades who took part in Project Mayhem Task #1. Judging by the results posted here it appears to be a great success. If you called, post your results in the comments. I think on behalf of all Comrades, I would like to thank all of the JERK line operators for being remarkably polite and respectful when handing our shenanigans. I take your politeness to mean that you support the Revolution, and hope that you send a message to Mikey about how much "Mental and emotional" damage he caused.

One big shoutout to the Cincinnati Enquirer, particularly Honorary Comrade Paul Daughterty who called Mike Brown out, big time. I think we have our newest Honorary Comrade in Richard Skinner who wrote this gem, breaking down the difference between the Bengals Player Personnel Department and other successful NFL organizations. While this information is commonly known by all Comrades, it is amazing how many people do not know the extext of Mike Brown's greed/incompetance. It is our job to spread the message, and writers like Daugherty and Skinner bring the message to a much wider audience.

One final thing. Can we all make a promise? If the Bengals finish 4-12, will NO ONE say, "We finshed the season 4-4, so it wasn't a disaster. Next year, we will have Carson back, Keith Rivers back, and our young guys will have anohter year of experience." Please do not spread the false message that Mike Brown and his minions want you to think. They want you to have "hope" that next year things will change. They want you to think this season was just about bad luck and not the results of a poorly run organization. Keep up the fight. The future of the Cincinnati Bengals is at stake.

Posted by LeeRoy Jenkins on November 03, 2008 at 07:36 AM in Staffing | Permalink

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I called during the second and third quarters. The operator laughed the first time. By the second call I could tell they were kind of worn out.

It was also kind of testy down at the stadium. Saw more fights than normal. The north end zone had at least three.

Posted by: Flash | November 03, 2008 at 09:04 AM

phenomenal articles

Posted by: Who Dey NYC | November 03, 2008 at 03:36 PM

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Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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November 03, 2008