The REVOLUTION is Coming!

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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

Preamble
IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

Introduction

WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

Manifesto Demands

THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

November 05, 2008

ESPN.com conducted an informal survey about the state of our beloved Cincinnati Bengals. The results, Bengals Fans are ready for a REVOLUTION. 66% say Mike Brown is to blame for the Bengals Problems. 62% are not confident in Bengals' Leadership to turn it around. This survey shows that Cincinnati needs WhoDeyRevolution. We NEED to organize and DEMAND change. Take it upon yourself to tell all of your friends, family, co workers, etc about WhoDeyRevolution. The only way our voices will be heard is if we speak with one voice. We know the majority of Bengals Fans want the REVOLUTION, they just need to be made aware of how to do it. Spread the word, the REVOLUTION is coming!

Posted by LeeRoy Jenkins on November 05, 2008 at 03:47 PM | Permalink

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My question: who are the 38 fucking morons who still have confidence in this team's leadership? That statistic worries me more than anything: the fact that 38% of Bengals fans either don't know--or don't care--that Mike Brown has run a sub-par operation for 18 years now. How much more time does he get? None in my book.

Seriously, right now I hate those 38 fans more than Mike Brown. They are the idiots who are standing in the way of a revolution.

Posted by: Bolshevik Bengal | November 05, 2008 at 05:15 PM

PROJECT MAYHEM... It's coming...

Posted by: Who Che | November 05, 2008 at 05:40 PM

those who stand in the way of The Machine will merely be destroyed by it.
Viva La Revolucion. Please give us the next installment of Project Mayhem. The people are waiting.

Posted by: Capt. Steve-O | November 05, 2008 at 08:12 PM

Comrades unite!!
I agree with comrade Bolshevik. We must identify this 38% of the fan base that is not outraged and punish them with tickets to remaining home games beside drunk visiting fans.

INFIDELS!!!

REVOLT!! REVOLT!!

Project Mayhem must march forward!!!

-Comrade Melba

Posted by: melba | November 05, 2008 at 08:40 PM

Stay patient Comrades. Project Mayhem Task 2 (and more) are in planning.

Posted by: Leeroy Jenkins | November 05, 2008 at 08:57 PM

We have to organize boycotts of the games. Picket outside the stadium (WE own it, after all) and let the entire nation see images of an empty stadium with 60k+ people outside protesting against Mike Brown's incompetence. It is the only way - sting Mike Brown's pocketbook and keep the spotlight on his failures in a sustained and focused way.

Posted by: Joe | November 06, 2008 at 09:46 AM

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Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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November 05, 2008