WhoDeyRevolution

What Does the Other Team's Local Media Write About Us?

Ever wonder what our opponent's media writes about the Bengals before/after playing them?  I got curious and did some research.  Below are some choice excerpts.  Conclusion:  we are not taken seriously, though people are still concerned about our talent at wideout (guess Baltimore takes awhile to get over the whuppings TJ and Chad have laid on them in the past, I assume they know better now).

Baltimore Beatdown:  The Cincinnati Bengals have turned from the soap opera team of the summer into the forgotten ugly sister in the AFC North.

The Ebony Bird (is this name racist?):  Looking Forward: They (Cincinnati) are at home against Baltimore in a game that might be a little closer than people expect. And by closer, I mean that the Bengals will actually come to the stadium.

Ravens Gab: (Ravens Gab?  Really...maybe Baltimore just really sucks at naming their blogs?) The Cincinnati Bungles. This team finally has come full circle.This is the first time the Ravens have swept Cincy since 2002. It seems hard to figure with some of the talent they have that they have fallen so far off the map. They showed little fight most of the day and you’d have to think that the Marvin Lewis death watch is still on. Hmm, Brian Billick needs a coaching job.

The Schmuck Stops Here (Baltimore Sun...yep, they do suck at naming their blogs): Obviously, I was never terribly worried, since I picked the Ravens to win big, but I felt even better when I watched the Bengals come out of the tunnel before the game. There was as little pre-game emotion as you might have expected from a 1-9-1 team. Some of the players actually looked like they were bothered by the misty, 40-degree weather.

Medium Well (Baltimore Sun):  During today's Ravens-Bengals game, CBS' cameras caught a boy in the stands holding up a little Bengals banner, but he had it upside down. Wilcots said: "I think he knew exactly what he was doing."

Connolly's Corner (Baltimore Sun): Let’s get this part out of the way first: The Bengals are terrible. Revoltingly terrible. So you have to keep that in mind when you analyze the Ravens performance Sunday. They may have had a little more trouble with an actual NFL team.  Still, the Ravens needed to win in Cincy because the remaining games on their schedule aren’t gimmes. At the halfway point, we all counted Sunday’s contest in Cincy as a Ravens’ win.

Sweet.  Oh yeah.  Read the post below.  Done?  Read it again.  This is who controls our team.

In Case 34-3 Didn't Make You Throw Up

Most NFL franchise owners focus their efforts on putting a quality product on the football field in order to ensure that season ticket holders continually renew their seats.  Mike Brown does not.  WDR finds this article in Sunday's edition of the Cincinnati Enquirer extremely disturbing.  The article is definitely worth a full read and clearly solidifies that Mike Brown is only in it for the money.

In summary, the article explains that 127 of Bengals' club seat season ticket holders have filed a lawsuit against the ball club claiming that the Bengals forced them to buy season tickets for 10 years just before the innaugural season of Paul Brown Stadium.  The dispute is over the wording in the seat license agreement.  Rather than allowing season ticket holders of the best and most expensive seats in Paul Brown Stadium to cancel their tickets, Mike Brown has attempted to force them to renew their season tickets for 10 years.  In some cases, this will end up costing season ticket holders $80,000.  This is the type of story that makes us stop and really think if we should continue cheering for this football team.  WDR has already highlighted the sweetheart stadium deal that Mike Brown swindled out of the city of Cincinnati.  But apparently that wasn't enough.  After the deal was finalized, it appears that nebulous language was dropped into the most expensive season ticket holders' agreements in order to ensure that these seats were filled for the first 10 years in Paul Brown Stadium.  These two mechanisms combined with Mike Brown's other cost cutting measures such as not having an indoor practice facility, having the league's smallest scouting department and not having a general manager reinforce that winning is not important.  The almighty buck is. 

To make matters worse, the Bengals have sought numerous continuances of the appeal most likely in an effort to delay any outcome beyond the 2009 season when the plaintiffs would have already fulfilled their "10 year" obligations under the license agreement. 

Which Bengals Would Start for the Giants?

Today's complete disaster of a game shouldn't have surprised anyone.  The game followed the standard 2008 Bengals formula:

1. Complete lack of protection on pass plays
2. Absent pass rush
3. Lots of mistakes, or as Marvin would say, "We made too many mistakes."
4. Uninspired play-calling

Luckily, the bar where I watched the game also had on the Giants-Redskins game so I could watch competitive football.  And as I was watching the Giants dismantle the Redskins, I thought to myself, "Which Bengals would start for the Giants?" 

Ignoring injuries and considering the optimal Bengals starters, the only Bengals who would have a chance at starting would be Carson and TJ, and the Giants seem to be doing fine with Eli and without Plaxico.  Every single player on the Giants defense is better than every player on the Bengals.  Ditto with the Giants entire offensive line, running backs, fullbacks and tight ends. 

Who Dey Recognition

Seeing as it is the time of year to express thanks and well wishes to those individuals who make an impact on one’s life I would like to take the opportunity to thank the men and women that make our country so great.  I don’t mean this post to be soft and full of sentiment, but rather to acknowledge that their are people outside of the WDR that allow us to express our opinions and agenda. 

 

The founders of the Constitution were certainly ahead of their time when enacting the United States Bill of Rights.  They devised a set of guidelines and rules that have lasted the test of time and are still relevant over 200 years from when they were written.  Obviously the most relevant portion of the Constitution for our purposes is the First Amendment that in part prohibits the infringement of freedom of speech:

 

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

WDR Guest Post: A Letter of Thanks to Mike Brown!

Dear Mike Brown,

Thanksgiving is a Holiday that makes us all realize what we should be thankful for. I just wanted to write you, because as a dedicated Bengals fan, there are so many things I would like to thank you for this season.

1. I would like to thank you for freeing up my Sunday afternoons so that I can do chores around the house for my wife. I never thought there would be a Sunday where I look more forward to doing home improvements than watching the Cincinnati Bengals. But like expected your inept management never ceases to amaze me. So thank you for giving me more free time on Sundays. I would say my Mondays are freed up too because our chance of getting another MONDAY NIGHT GAME IS PROBABLY 15 YEARS AWAY!

2. I would like to thank you for showing me that greatness in a particular field is not genetic. No matter how hard I try to be my father the more I will fail. I love my father but I am a unique person with specific skills and gifts that vary greatly from my father’s gifts. Your father was an icon to the sport of football. He revolutionized the game with new schemes, ideas, and team management techniques. Times have changed and they call for the Bengals to evolve. You are stuck in the past and football management is not in your skill set. You are an attorney by trade and probably a very good one but that does not mean you can run an NFL organization, even if you are the son of Paul Brown. You only have to look at one of your past coaches (Dave Shula) to realize that SUCCESS IS NOT GENETIC!

Thanksgiving at Paul Brown Stadium: A Short Play...

(Scene opens:  Marvin Lewis standing and addressing the whole team)


Marvin Lewis:  (awkwardly chuckles) "Enjoy your team meal gentlemen.  I know we've all worked up an appetite failing to win more than 1 game this year.  You've earned...what the hell?!"


Jeremi Johnson:  (babbling with mouth full) "Burger burger burger burger burger burger burger burger"

Baghdad Hob: A Different Interpretation

As Geoff Hobson's job becomes tougher by the day and the spin he puts on this season devolves into the absurd, I started to wonder why he does not just walk away from this gig.  Surely a rational man, who cares about the integrity of his writing (he was once a journalist), would not voluntarily work at a job that forces him to prevaricate for a living.  Why would he put his reputation on the line for the Bengals?  It makes no sense.

As I was reading his mailbag today (first time in awhile I must say) it hit me:  Baghdad Hob is signaling to Bengals fans the moves of the franchise in order to prepare us for disaster.  He is in on the joke.  He knows how bad it is.  His answers to the questions do not include a single thing he actually thinks about the situation.  Rather, he is reporting the thought process of the (lack of) braintrust in charge.  In this way, he is actually a true journalist, reporting behind enemy lines (but in really junior varsity way, so it's more like Behind Enemy Lines II, which I am shocked to find out exists), getting the real inside scoop and dishing it out.  Perhaps this is not an original take but I think this is the best way to read his columns.

What Other Teams Do After "Terrible Seasons"

With the Bengals' next three opponents each having a 7-4 record, it is more than likely that our record will be in the range of 1-14-1 to 3-12-1.  If you think it will be better than 3-12-1 by somehow knocking off one or more of the Ravens, Colts and Redskins, please direct yourselves to other Bengals blogs or the Bengals web site itself.  Realism clearly isn't for you.  Given that our likely record will be within this range, WDR wondered just how many teams justified keeping its head coach after Terrible Seasons.  Here, we will define a "Terrible Season" as one in which the team went 5-11 or worse.  We decided to take a look at Terrible Seasons over the last five years and specifically, what happened to the head coaches afterwards.  WDR's concern is the sheer apathy of our front office in potentially going 1-14-1 and choosing to retain Marvin Lewis.  As you can see below, that potential outcome is as ridiculous as it sounds.  More analysis is provided after the survey.

2007

Miami Dolphins (1-15): Fired Cam Cameron

St. Louis Rams (3-13): Fired Scott Linnehan after Week 4 of 2008 season

Kansas City Chiefs (4-12): Kept Herm Edwards (second season as head coach)

Oakland Raiders (4-12): Fired Lane Kiffin after Week 4 of 2008 season

Atlanta Falcons (4-12): Bobby Petrino quit during the season

Baltimore Ravens (5-11): Fired Brian Billick

San Francisco 49ers (5-11): Fired Mike Nolan after Week 7 of 2008 season

Big Willie - It's Not You, It's Him

Ladies and Gentleman Willie Anderson is back, but sadly he still will be wearing Baltimore purple and a pigeon with a B tatooed to it's face on his helmet.

After being drafted by the Bengals 10th overall in 1996, Willie Anderson became a household name in Cincinnati.  A four-time pro-bowler in 2003-2006, Anderson was the anchor of the Bengals' offensive line and a loyal hard working member who started 116 consecutive games until an injury prevented him from playing the Chiefs in 2007.  This was a man who still had a lot of good football in him, but not in the eyes of Mike Brown.

After being released in August of this year when Mike Brown declared he was essentially washed up, Anderson was picked up by another team.  A team in the same league; a team that has actually won a Superbowl in the last decade; a team that has won 7 games and is competing for a playoff birth this year; and, oh, a team we just so happen to play this Sunday at home.  We won't mention it is also a team that employs a murdering yay skiing linebacker, because if we actually had one of those it not only would be the missing criminal link to the Bengals' Athletic Department of Corrections, but it might actually be nice to see a player in black and orange not getting man-handled like an 8 year old boy at John Mark Karr's "Push-Up & Sit-Up Camp for Kids".

It's Official: Bengals Miss Playoffs

I once had a history teacher in high school who taught European History.  His tests were always multiple choice, 50 questions.  Before our first test, he told us that we could get a perfect score by answering all of the questions correctly...or answering all the questions INCORRECTLY.  As he used to say "Trust me guys, it's much harder to get them all wrong, rather than of all of them right."

Well, the Bengals under Mike Brown haven't gotten it wrong 100% of the time, but they have been darn close.  Today the NFL released the updated playoff scenarios for the rest of the season.  For the 17th time in 18 years, the Bengals have been officially eliminated from the playoffs.  They are the first AFC team be knocked out this season (the Chiefs somehow still have a chance via the weak AFC West). 

I have a feeling that if Mike Brown was in my history class, he would have attempted to get them all wrong too.  But just like some of the kids in my class...even he screwed up that kind of perfection.  You almost have to be trying to have a record as miserable as the Bengals under The Redeemer.