Reason #7241147 to Hate the Pittsburgh Steelers: Their Kicker

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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

Preamble
IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

Introduction

WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

Manifesto Demands

THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

October 16, 2008

Reason #7241147 to Hate the Pittsburgh Steelers: Their Kicker

WDR doesn't know much about Jeff Reed except that he was brought to Pittsburgh after Kris Brown and Neil Rackers were part of a "Crappiest Kicker Contest" on December 30, 2001 between the Cincinnati Bengals and the Pittsburgh Steelers. In their defense, Rackers and Brown are now established kickers in the NFL and this was before your Cincinnati Bengals mastered the minor task of having a football field. After replacing the quagmire that was our field, one would think we could move onto the football team but hey...slow down...one step at a time, or at least one step every 4 years.

Anyway...Jeff Reed is the kicker of the Pittsburgh Steelers and that's all we really know. His Wikipedia profile seems harmless. He even appears to be an upstanding citizen....National Honor Society, Spanish National Honor Society, Community Service. But then there is this: Jeff Reed may have one of the most ridiculous Google Image search results when you type his name in. While no commentary is provided because none is needed, highlighted pictures appear after the jump.

Posted by Who Dey NYC on October 16, 2008 at 04:47 PM | Permalink

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What the hell is wrong with him? Please tell me the Douchebag look-a-like costume at the bar is a joke? Right?

Posted by: Another Lost Season | October 16, 2008 at 06:54 PM

He obviously hasn't become a leader on his team like Shayne Graham has.

Posted by: Chase F | October 16, 2008 at 10:00 PM

Let's not forget about their quarterback

http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j141/ECKoolAid/lolsports/yes-you-are-ben.jpg

Posted by: Bring back the Squirrel | October 16, 2008 at 10:23 PM

I agree. Although Jeff Reed is a douche of immense proportions I think Ben is vying for a shot at being Douche Champion.

Exhibit A:
http://drunkathlete.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/ben-roethlisberger-drunk-pictures2.jpg

Exhibit B:
http://drunkathlete.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/ben-roethlisberger-drunk-pictures11.jpg
1. Silk, Lime Green, unbuttoned, two-toned shirt, prob stolen off the set of A Night at the Roxbury.
2. Mario Lopez
3. Carson Daily
4. “I’m sooo WASTED!” – actual quote from picture
5. Center-part hairstyle
6. Redbull Vodka
7. Mario fucking Lopez

Posted by: Ho Chi Maier | October 17, 2008 at 11:54 AM

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Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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October 16, 2008

Reason #7241147 to Hate the Pittsburgh Steelers: Their Kicker

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