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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

Inaugural Post

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October 28, 2008

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I like guerrilla tactics. Additionally, I'd like to pressure the county to sell the naming rights to the stadium. There is no fucking way it should be named PBS.

I have been mentally abused by this man for the past 18 years. The jerk line is going to get sick of hearing my voice.

Viva La Revolucion!!!

I have been mentally abused by this man for the past 18 years. The jerk line is going to get sick of hearing my voice.

Viva La Revolucion!!!

I can't wait! I'm in! I'm psyched!

I predict the retraction of the Jerk hotline shortly, which will signify the message has been heard in mass quantities.

I wonder if we can get the Jerk Line lady to quit by halftime!!!

Mike Brown will curse the day he 'invented' the jerk line

We are going to pass the phone around to every fan (at least, what's left of them) at the Bengals Bar in NYC to call the jerk line.

I would say we should coordinate with Dave Dameshek to try to put Mike Brown as his Jerk of the Week on his radio show but he's a dirty Steelers fan.

I'm in. Will be calling from the comfort of my couch.

JERK line employees are going to be mid boggled when they start getting calls from 202, 212, 917, 312, etc., area codes... Mike Brown will spin this and say that "Mike Brown's Bengals are as popular as ever, look at all of the fans that came to my awesome dad's stadium to watch my 'unfortunate' 'unlucky team'."

Add 718 to the list of area codes

I am going to call in and report the mugging of around 65,000 people.

I might call in and report Levi Jones, saying that he is letting the guy behind center get abused every play.

You can add the 310 as well. Sadly I'll be calling from inside the stadium this week.

Let's stick with aiming the attacks at the Front Office. While we'd like to report Bratkowski for calling plays like "Pro Right, 328 Diarrhea", the problem is at the top. Jerk #1 is the owner.

I am going to report that the owner of the Bengals randomly punched 60,000 fans in the face and ran away like that Pittsburgh jagoff did the other week.

Remember that you can send a text message to that line as well. The time is now, and we are the people. Viva la revolution!!!!!!!!!!!

This is shout out to my boss. I can't say his name or the Storm Trooper will come to get his season tickets. You rocked the Jerk Line!! If he had only sent 28 times, they would not have taken him seriously. 29 was definitely charm.

How about a “don’t spend money inside the stadium” push?

Come to the game, tailgate, have fun, cheer on the Bengals, but that is the limit of the commitment to the support for Mike Brown. Basically, if you didn’t bring it, you don’t need it. This goes for concessions and team-related gear. Mike has his money from the tickets and seat licenses, but that doesn’t mean he deserves any more.

I will be calling from the stadium. My son has not lost his football innocence yet. I suppose eventually, Mike Brown will steal it from him just like he stole the rest of ours. I really don't think that he has even processed the fact that they are 0-8.

Viva la revolution!!!!!

I'll have to write that down to repeat it or else I'll be a lot bigger meany to poor Mikey.

Count in 302. Sir the first rule of project mayhem is.....

Mike Brown is a Jerk. This Project is a public necessity.

Add 813 to the list of calls coming into the Jerk line.

Count in a 678 and maybe a 902.

Add a 574 and probably a couple 419's too.

jerk line's gonna hear from 321 area code for sure.

You know we are down in the 201, where they lost not once, but TWICE this year!!!

Add 778 to the list. yeah, that's Vancouver, BC. I left the country so I could live in a city with a football team that is capable of winning while wearing black and orange (its the CFL, but who cares?). How does "Mike Brown punched me in the junk and ran away with my NFL Sunday Ticket money" sound? Yup, I pay money to watch this mess.

Count in area code 618, too. I'll call from the comforts from my recliner.

I iwll be calling from my work number 919 from NC and from my 972 number which is in Dallas.

Down with Brown. Pack your Lumina, sell the team and find another place to screw up Mikey!

"Sir the first rule of project mayhem is....."

We don't talk about Project Mayhem.

Viva la revolution!!!!!

This is pure genius. I demand to be there when Meat Loaf gets killed.

"His name is Robert Paulson."

773 is going to represent from kendall's, the bengals bar in chicago.

This is all sounds like the "revolution" has it figured out.
but actually you have not figured anything out and the reasons are very easy.
You have chose to continue to by tickets and everything that surrounds the ability to purchase those tickets, you come to games,buy food and drink,
yea you really are making waves letting Mike Brown know how you feel.
But the reality of it all is the "jerk line" has not one thing to do with Mike Brown, nor the Bengals basically it is a costumer service line for fans to help security respond to a problem within the stadium, as a matter of fact no matter how many times people call, it will simply be documented on a pad of paper, and then reviewed
and areas that are consistantly being recognized as "troubled areas" police and security can double up those areas. SO GOOD TRY, BUT REALLY A WASTE OF TIME, TRUST ME EVERYTHING I HAVE SPOKE OF IS FACT.

Lighten up Francis.

Add 336. North Carolina in on the revolution

J C R this is an effort to waste the Bengals time and money. God knows they have wasted enough of mine. Who do you think pays for the line and the person to answer it?? If not now when???? The time is now viva revolution!!

Count 404 to be heard from.

The strength of this movement is that it unifies the angst, misery and pain. Viva the revolution. This unity now needs to be broadcast nationally - Mike has no shame when it comes to local reactions. The slave labor in developing countries was not solved when the kids complained to their shift bosses. When the concern went global changes were made. Michael needs to be embarrassed on a national scale.

Letters to the NFL office in NY + peaceful but massive demonstrations... media grabbing events (http://www.myd.govt.nz/ayv/haveyoursay/aotearoayouthvoicestoolkit/actionguide9holdacreativedemonstra.aspx). The squeaky wheel...


Roger Goodell
Commissioner
National Football League
280 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017

1-212-450-2000 (8:30 a.m - 7:00 p.m. - name directory)

I'll see if I can add a 423 to that list. Granted, I'm a little busy on Sunday afternoons now that I seek out enjoyable things to do rather than sit and stare in wonder and amusement at the crap-fest the Bengals have become.

not that I don't already do this everyweek, home or away and soon to be the bye week....so I'm deff. in this week


Viva La Revolucion!!!

add the "great" state of Connecticut to the revolution. 203 representing. muster up the troops. viva la revolucion.

812 is going to be calling. yes it will.

703 is in from the bar in DC....

a great man one said " if its Brown flush it down"... thats for you Mike Brown

i'm so ready for this. i'm doing this for my unborn, future bengal fans. they dont deserve to live thru what we have.

How about a call from the 215? F Mikey Brown, but go Phillies. Here is a city who loves to party

On a related note, my mom works at the pharmacy mike brown goes to in the greater IH area. I think someone should follow him in there and make sure he doesn't come out unless he has met all of our demands. Someone make this happen please.

He just goes in there for vitamins, condoms and viagra. It's tough to a$$bang 60,000 people weekly. He is getting older now and his refractory period is holding him back. Gotta keep Mr Happy "happy".

Just called. Some nice lady answered the phone and I said the line. She said "Thank You" and I said "Your Welcome". Comrades, keep it up.

Just called...the mailbox is already full...

I tried calling three times during the second quarter. No one answered the phone and when the answering machine picked up, it said the mailbox was full and I was unable to leave a message.

done and done... she goes, "thank you!"

Lets keep doing this every game for the rest of the season!!!!!!!!

Mike Brown doesn't give a flying f***.

No matter what we do he'll rake in the cash and keep his family taken care of for decades.

What of his Dad's Legacy? .......

I've decided to start a "fire mike brown" postcard campaign, got some cards printed at http://www.printsmadeeasy.com and I've been handing them out everywhere...wish me luck :D

Did this at yesterday's game. The jerkline workers were not thrilled. They demanded to know where I was sitting. I told them a different row and seat, and about 5 minutes later, 5 State Troopers arrived with phones looking to kick me out of the stadium.
Good to see Mike Brown can pay 5 state troopers to go on a wild goose chase and try to eject someone that dislikes him.
Better luck next year JerkLine.

Count in 614

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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