Project Mayhem Task #1: Report Mike Brown to the Jerk Line

Now that Mike Brown's Bengals are a hilariously pathetic 0-8, many Bengals fans will be calling for some sort of walk-out or protest at games.  This is not effective at all.  Do you want to make a difference or just feel like you are making a difference?  The tickets have already been sold so Mike Brown has his money - do you really think he is going to change his ways because Bengals fans hurt his feelings? 

This is why Who Dey Revolution is officially launching Project Mayhem.  Project Mayhem has two goals:

1. Disrupt the natural order of Mike Brown's Bengals
2. Reduce Mike Brown's profit

Over the next few weeks, WDR will call for all Comrades and Who Douches to participate in Project Mayhem.  Project Mayhem will work to convince Mike Brown to subscribe to the WDR Manifesto on the left.

Project Mayhem Task #1: Call the Jerk Line during Sunday's game and report Mike Brown.

This idea came in from Comrade Bob Sugar in a recent post and it is BRILLIANT.  Every Bengals fan, whether you are at PBS or elsewhere, needs to call 513-381-JERK (5375) on Sunday between 1:00-4:00pm and say: "As a Bengals fan, Mike Brown is mentally and emotionally abusing me from his owner's box."  Everyone should call ONCE, say the above line and hang up.

We have tried letters, we have called talk radio. It's time to take our team back. It's time for Project Mayhem. On Sunday during the Jacksonville game, report Mike Brown to the Jerk Line.

A quick overview: the Bengals launched the "Jerk Line" in 2006 so fans at Paul Brown Stadium could call a number and report "jerks" at the game who were drunk and surly so Bengals security could remove them from the game.  They must have been shocked for how excited Bengals fans got during wins during the 2005 campaign.  I for one am so delighted that there Mike Brown focused his resources on ridding the stadium of "jerks" instead of upgrading our juggernaught scouting department of 3.  Nice job.  Idiot. 

Get ready for Project Mayhem.  This is only week 1. 

Comments

[Rich]

I like guerrilla tactics. Additionally, I'd like to pressure the county to sell the naming rights to the stadium. There is no fucking way it should be named PBS.

[Fielding Mellish]

I have been mentally abused by this man for the past 18 years. The jerk line is going to get sick of hearing my voice.

Viva La Revolucion!!!

[Fielding Mellish]

I have been mentally abused by this man for the past 18 years. The jerk line is going to get sick of hearing my voice.

Viva La Revolucion!!!

[Wyatt Green]

I can't wait! I'm in! I'm psyched!

[Who Dey NYC]

I predict the retraction of the Jerk hotline shortly, which will signify the message has been heard in mass quantities.

[Cero y Ocho]

I wonder if we can get the Jerk Line lady to quit by halftime!!!

[Ghost of Boomer]

Mike Brown will curse the day he 'invented' the jerk line

[Sleeping With Bieniemy]

We are going to pass the phone around to every fan (at least, what's left of them) at the Bengals Bar in NYC to call the jerk line.

I would say we should coordinate with Dave Dameshek to try to put Mike Brown as his Jerk of the Week on his radio show but he's a dirty Steelers fan.

[Vladidouche Lenin]

I'm in. Will be calling from the comfort of my couch.

[Who Che]

JERK line employees are going to be mid boggled when they start getting calls from 202, 212, 917, 312, etc., area codes... Mike Brown will spin this and say that "Mike Brown's Bengals are as popular as ever, look at all of the fans that came to my awesome dad's stadium to watch my 'unfortunate' 'unlucky team'."

[Boomstick]

Add 718 to the list of area codes

[Ho Chi Maier]

I am going to call in and report the mugging of around 65,000 people.

[Chase F]

I might call in and report Levi Jones, saying that he is letting the guy behind center get abused every play.

[MikeBrownDelendaEst]

You can add the 310 as well. Sadly I'll be calling from inside the stadium this week.

[Who Dey NYC]

Let's stick with aiming the attacks at the Front Office. While we'd like to report Bratkowski for calling plays like "Pro Right, 328 Diarrhea", the problem is at the top. Jerk #1 is the owner.

[Who Che]

I am going to report that the owner of the Bengals randomly punched 60,000 fans in the face and ran away like that Pittsburgh jagoff did the other week.

[Bob Sugar]

Remember that you can send a text message to that line as well. The time is now, and we are the people. Viva la revolution!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mike Brown is a Wanker]

This is shout out to my boss. I can't say his name or the Storm Trooper will come to get his season tickets. You rocked the Jerk Line!! If he had only sent 28 times, they would not have taken him seriously. 29 was definitely charm.

[Phed Hup]

How about a “don’t spend money inside the stadium” push?

Come to the game, tailgate, have fun, cheer on the Bengals, but that is the limit of the commitment to the support for Mike Brown. Basically, if you didn’t bring it, you don’t need it. This goes for concessions and team-related gear. Mike has his money from the tickets and seat licenses, but that doesn’t mean he deserves any more.

[WhoDouche's Unite!!!]

I will be calling from the stadium. My son has not lost his football innocence yet. I suppose eventually, Mike Brown will steal it from him just like he stole the rest of ours. I really don't think that he has even processed the fact that they are 0-8.

Viva la revolution!!!!!

[lenin them score]

I'll have to write that down to repeat it or else I'll be a lot bigger meany to poor Mikey.

[JMo]

Count in 302. Sir the first rule of project mayhem is.....

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Mike Brown is a Jerk. This Project is a public necessity.

[WhoDeyFSU]

Add 813 to the list of calls coming into the Jerk line.

[BMN]

Count in a 678 and maybe a 902.

[Greaper22]

Add a 574 and probably a couple 419's too.

[lovehurts]

jerk line's gonna hear from 321 area code for sure.

[The Flap]

You know we are down in the 201, where they lost not once, but TWICE this year!!!

[AJ]

Add 778 to the list. yeah, that's Vancouver, BC. I left the country so I could live in a city with a football team that is capable of winning while wearing black and orange (its the CFL, but who cares?). How does "Mike Brown punched me in the junk and ran away with my NFL Sunday Ticket money" sound? Yup, I pay money to watch this mess.

[Southern Illinois Douchbag]

Count in area code 618, too. I'll call from the comforts from my recliner.

[A Pragmatic Bengals Fan]

330. I'm in.

[shalomshalom]

I iwll be calling from my work number 919 from NC and from my 972 number which is in Dallas.

Down with Brown. Pack your Lumina, sell the team and find another place to screw up Mikey!

[Mike Brown is a Wanker]

"Sir the first rule of project mayhem is....."

We don't talk about Project Mayhem.

Viva la revolution!!!!!

[Scott Ricketts]

This is pure genius. I demand to be there when Meat Loaf gets killed.

"His name is Robert Paulson."

[nick]

773 is going to represent from kendall's, the bengals bar in chicago.

[j c r]

This is all sounds like the "revolution" has it figured out.
but actually you have not figured anything out and the reasons are very easy.
You have chose to continue to by tickets and everything that surrounds the ability to purchase those tickets, you come to games,buy food and drink,
yea you really are making waves letting Mike Brown know how you feel.
But the reality of it all is the "jerk line" has not one thing to do with Mike Brown, nor the Bengals basically it is a costumer service line for fans to help security respond to a problem within the stadium, as a matter of fact no matter how many times people call, it will simply be documented on a pad of paper, and then reviewed
and areas that are consistantly being recognized as "troubled areas" police and security can double up those areas. SO GOOD TRY, BUT REALLY A WASTE OF TIME, TRUST ME EVERYTHING I HAVE SPOKE OF IS FACT.

[Scott Ricketts]

Lighten up Francis.

[CincyMike56]

Add 336. North Carolina in on the revolution

[shitcinnati fan]

J C R this is an effort to waste the Bengals time and money. God knows they have wasted enough of mine. Who do you think pays for the line and the person to answer it?? If not now when???? The time is now viva revolution!!

[Sadly I am now a Falcon Fan]

Count 404 to be heard from.

[TO]

The strength of this movement is that it unifies the angst, misery and pain. Viva the revolution. This unity now needs to be broadcast nationally - Mike has no shame when it comes to local reactions. The slave labor in developing countries was not solved when the kids complained to their shift bosses. When the concern went global changes were made. Michael needs to be embarrassed on a national scale.

Letters to the NFL office in NY + peaceful but massive demonstrations... media grabbing events (http://www.myd.govt.nz/ayv/haveyoursay/aotearoayouthvoicestoolkit/actionguide9holdacreativedemonstra.aspx). The squeaky wheel...

Roger Goodell
Commissioner
National Football League
280 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017

1-212-450-2000 (8:30 a.m - 7:00 p.m. - name directory)

[Keith]

I'll see if I can add a 423 to that list. Granted, I'm a little busy on Sunday afternoons now that I seek out enjoyable things to do rather than sit and stare in wonder and amusement at the crap-fest the Bengals have become.

[delta5243]

not that I don't already do this everyweek, home or away and soon to be the bye week....so I'm deff. in this week

Viva La Revolucion!!!

[Capt Steve-O]

add the "great" state of Connecticut to the revolution. 203 representing. muster up the troops. viva la revolucion.

[lenin them score]

812 is going to be calling. yes it will.

[Grande Josef]

703 is in from the bar in DC....

a great man one said " if its Brown flush it down"... thats for you Mike Brown

[houshyomama]

i'm so ready for this. i'm doing this for my unborn, future bengal fans. they dont deserve to live thru what we have.

[Stambrah]

How about a call from the 215? F Mikey Brown, but go Phillies. Here is a city who loves to party

On a related note, my mom works at the pharmacy mike brown goes to in the greater IH area. I think someone should follow him in there and make sure he doesn't come out unless he has met all of our demands. Someone make this happen please.

[Pete Johnson 4X up the Middle]

He just goes in there for vitamins, condoms and viagra. It's tough to a$$bang 60,000 people weekly. He is getting older now and his refractory period is holding him back. Gotta keep Mr Happy "happy".

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Just called. Some nice lady answered the phone and I said the line. She said "Thank You" and I said "Your Welcome". Comrades, keep it up.