Dishing Out Some Blame Beyond Jerk #1 and a Profanity Laced Tirade

This article is prefaced with two thoughts.  First, I am largely incapable of humor as this season is not funny (Thank you Mike Brown for ripping out any remaining joy).  It is therefore time for some analysis.  Secondly, everything wrong with this football team starts at the top, with Jerk #1, mostly for not having an adequate scouting department and not having a competent General Manager to get the appropriate personnel to fit a designed offensive or defensive scheme. 

That being said, two thoughts on our coaching staff have occurred to me this season and are most demonstrable by examining two football teams, the New England Patriots and the New York Giants. 

The New England Patriots

We all know what happened to Tom Brady in the first quarter of this season.  While we may loathe Tom Brady because we want to be him, Bengals fans of all people would not wish losing their starting quarterback for the season on anyone (besides the Steelers).  Last year with Tom Brady, the Patriots went undefeated during the regular season, set numerous offensive records and came 2 minutes away  from completing the perfect year with a Super Bowl championship.  But after losing their starting Quarterback, the Patriots, with Matt Cassel (who hasn't started a game since high school) at QB, are still 5-2 and sit at the top of the AFC East.  Their receivers, Randy Moss and Wes Welker, are comparable in quality to ours of Chad Johnson, T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Chris Henry.  Meanwhile, Mike Brown's Bengals lose Carson Palmer for the season, plug in Ryan Fitzpatrick and are the worst team in the NFL at 0-8.  One difference is this: New England Head Coach, Bill Belichick and Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels compared with Mike Brown's Bengals Head Coach, Marvin Lewis and Offensive Coordinator, Bob Bratkowski.  The Patriots continue to perform on offense and while not on the level as they did last year, they continue to win with a completely unproven backup quarterback.  Meanwhile, Mike Brown's Bengals have shown zero competence, the offensive play calling is completely predictable and ineffective and we rank dead last in total offensive yardage.  If we had a competent head coach and offensive coordinator, we would not still be searching for our first win.  In addition to Jerk #1, much blame has to go to Marvin Lewis and Bob Bratkowski.  There are those that debate that firing Marvin Lewis is not the right step.  But this team is either going 0-16 or 1-15...I haven't decided yet.  How is there any job security after a season like this?  This offense has steadily declined over the last two years and that is assuredly partly the fault of Marvin Lewis and Bob Bratkowski.

The New York Giants

We also all know what happened to the New York Giants last year.  Their punishing defense propelled them through the latter half of the regular season and allowed them to roll through the playoffs and win a Super Bowl.  Most of this was due to an incredible defensive line, led by Michael Strahan and Osi Umenyiora.  Strahan went out on top deciding to retire.  Umenyiora was lost for the year in the preseason due to a torn meniscus in his knee.  The result surely had to be chatastrophic.  But it wasn't.  As the Giants did last year, they currently lead the league in sacks with 26.  By the way, the Bengals have 6, ranking 31st out of 32 teams.  The difference?  Mostly Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo, as well as D-line coach, Mike Waufle and head coach, Tom Coughlin compared with Bengals defensive coordinator, Mike Zimmer, D-Line coach, Jay Hayes and alleged defensive specialist, head coach Marvin Lewis.  Marvin's defense has never been ranked higher than 19th in the league in total yardage allowed.  D-line coach, Jay Hayes is in his sixth season at the position.  Our inability to form any sort of a pass rush has been a huge weakness throughout this time.  How does consistently not producing a pass rush result in Hayes keeping his job?  On top of this, we've even sunk a tremendous amount of money into our D-line as John Thornton, Robert Geathers, Domato Peko and Antwan Odom all are making more than $4.5 million this year.  While Zimmer has been an improvement over Bresnahan, his schemes and in particular, his blitz packages need work.  For the Giants, Spagnuolo loses his two top pass rushers and still manages to get his players to the quarterback better than anyone in the league.  Amazing...but not really.

The Profanity Laced Point

Yes.  We need a fucking GM.  We need more fucking scouts.  But it is not only the personnel that matters.  We also need some fucking competent coaches with elaborate schemes catered to each fucking opponent.  The status quo is not fucking acceptable.  If you continue to operate under the fucking delusion that you are running your fucking team as competently as the GMs in the NFL, then your fucking coaches haveto be pretty fucking ineffective, don't they?  Your whole philosophy is fucked.  You can't fucking maintain that you, yourself are doing a fucking adequate job in putting the proper personnel in place only to have the fucking results that you've had over your whole fucking tenure as owner.  Get a fucking clue.  Make some drastic fucking changes because what you are fucking doing certainly is not fucking working.  Is it?

Halleleuiah.  Holy Shit. Where's the fucking tylenol?

Comments

[Bolshevik Bengal]

Good fucking point. I am starting to move beyond my shear rage over this season into apathy. Next thing you know, I'll be a Steelers fan. Except first I'd have to rip my beating heart out of my chest Temple-of-Doom-style and piss on it. Oh wait, Mike Brown already did that. And then he plopped a Cleveland steamer on top just to fuck with me. 0-and-hate. I am clearing my calendar Sunday to call the Jerk Line non-stop for 12 hours straight. I'm sure God will understand.

[Paul]

Fuckin' A.

[Julius Norman]

There is nothing out-of-bounds that could be done to Mike Brown's Bengals with Project Mayhem.

The problem is that Mike Brown won't figure out the impact of a lousy team until the kids born in 1986 (just graduating college now), don't buy the gear, don't get the tickets, don't come to the games, because they know the team sucks.

[Sly Vramavomovich]

Whoah, don't speak for me when you say we don't want to see other starting qb's get hurt. If I had my way all of them would get hurt/die every year. Fuck em.

As for 0-8...

Don't Get Mad, Get Even.

[Flash]

I agree with just about everything you wrote…however, arguing or analyzing the Bengals anywhere beyond their scouting department is an exercise in futility.

When the Bengals had an offensive line, Brat looked like a genius. Now he can’t coach? It has much less to do with Brat or Marvin’s inability to adjust, than it does with them just not having the horses.

The Pats and Giants (and of course the Steelers) are great examples of franchises that have a plan and stick to it. Their scouts are always looking for players who fit in their systems. They do not draft “athletes,” “projects,” or “high-motor guys.” They draft football players who fit in their systems.

Most teams may draft one or two “project” players every five years. Meanwhile, the Bengals draft five “project” players every year. Why, because they don’t have system. So the few scouts they do have are just picking random players that exhibit some skill. Doesn’t matter if they fit within a system…because the Bengals have no system.

People clamoring for a GM are also missing the point. It only helps to hire a GM if you hire a GOOD GM who knows what he’s doing. The Browns have had GMs every year since they got back in the league. And their current GM, Savage, is a clown.

The Bengals need an NFL scouting department comprised of actual NFL scouts. Not coaches, cronies or Coslets.

[Who Dey NYC]

Flash, Agreed. Those are the two main problems. We can amend GM to mean "Good GM". That is true. Isiah Thomas had control over player personnel for the Knicks and he obviously was a trainwreck. First and foremost, we need a good GM and scouts. I personally believe though that if you brought in Spagnuolo and he took over this defense for a year, it would be much improved.

And the hypocrisy of Mike Brown should be highlighted. He maintains that he is on par with the GMs in the league. If that is the case, shouldn't he be thinking that the coaches are terrible with the players that he got in here...but he keeps them on. It makes no sense...most likely because he doesn't care if we win or not.

[Bring back the squirrel]

Totally agree on the coaches. In 05 the offense was great. What happened in the coming years, only one key loss, Rich Braham. Although this is a huge loss, and I mean HUGE evidenced by Ghiaciuc being pushed back five yards on his ass on a consistent basis and inability of calling out assignments, you can't say they don't still have the offensive talent. What happened was other teams changed their defensive approach, and Brat was unable to come up with an answer to them. Other teams built on what they had, the Bengals stood still and eventually started taking steps back. Other teams drafted players that could come in to contribute and prepared those players for upcoming injuries to starters, the Bengals relied on picking up free agent running backs to become their starter (although Benson running over Troy was one of my favorite plays of the year). #1 Jerk saw 05 as an insurance policy for the next few years of keeping the status quo. Apparently the coaches are drinking Mike Brown's koolaid, and why not, it's not like their jobs are on the line.