"It is very important that we continue to support the Bengals, even when they are having tough times."
This is the quote given yesterday by Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory. I'm sure that the true Bengals fans were thinking the same thing I was thinking...
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!
It’s clear that Mark Mallory has never actually sat through a game (let alone a series of games) watching this team play “professional” football for the past 18 years. And why should he? He needs to make sure that shootings in Cincinnati are kept to a minimum and that nobody blows up Clifton. I totally understand why sitting down to watch the Bengals lose on a week-by-week basis isn’t exactly high on Mallory’s priority list.
But I’ve got two requests for the mayor:
1) He shouldn’t lie to us and tell us he is a Bengals fan. We know he is not. We know he probably even got some order from Mike Brown saying that he’ll move the team to LA or something insane like that if he didn’t turd polish for him. There is no possible way he has ever worn a jock strap, held a bat, worn a helmet, dribbled a basketball, held a tennis racket, swung a golf club, skated, jumped a hurdle, or even played hopscotch. Here’s how I know this. Where was he when Carson got hurt? Where was he when LeBeau lead the team to 2-14? Where are his season tickets in the stadium (his PERSONAL seat, not the ones that the city owns for the mayor and city officials)? I bet he can’t name the entire offensive and defensive starters! Go! I’d even give him three strikes before he’s out (that was a baseball reference, by the way – y’know, in case the mayor reads this).
2) In these political times. He is taking the side of Big Business? Screw him! And shame on him! The people voted him into office. He needs to take the side of the people. By saying that the team sucks and that this is unacceptable would have won him an election right there. Ultimately, he took the side of an organization that has done absolutely nothing to prove to the geographically unfortunate people who call themselves “fans” that they have a reason to be fans. He told the fans that 18 years and one winning season is fine for Cincinnati. In fact, it’s something we should support. He told the fans that it is OK that the team we love has never done anything to prove that they loved us back. He officially proved, once and for all, that he does not watch the Bengals. He officially proved that he is not a sports fan.
Just because he uses a tailgate as a photo op, and owns a Bengals tie, doesn’t give him the right - or credibility - to tell fans what they should or should not do.