This man sitting before you gave me a run for my money over the last 7 years. But he knew he couldn't outlast me. I have to give him credit though. The way he ran his team and its fanbase into the ground takes a titanic amount of indifference, rash decisions and sheer force of will. He's good, but with my help, he can be the best. People of Cincinnati, meet your next coach, GM, and head scout.................
Hello people of Cinth...uh....Cincinnati. I am proud and honored to take the mantle of this fine organization and put it in my closet next to my set of golf clubs. You can trust that with me and Mr. Brown asleep at the gears we will never win a single game again. And I am also announcing that my first move is to package our #1 overall pick and Carson Palmer for that Brandon Marshall guy. With him and Chad Johnson and TJ Houshman..Houshman..whatever, you know who I'm talking about, we will have an unstoppable force at WR.
It's Houshmandzadeh and nope, I am officially retired. The franchise tag doesn't mean shit to me when I'm sitting on the beach somewhere while lovely Carribean women braid my flowing mane in the lingering sunset.