Soooooo...What do we do now that the offense sucks too?

I'm thinking we can use the jedi mind trick to fool the NFL into changing our schedule so that we can play the NFC North again (like in 2005) and they can throw us approximately 38 trillion interceptions.

Kidnapping Romeo Crennel's family and forcing the Browns to return us Eric Steinbach might also be a good idea.

Those seem like reasonable starting points for now.  Anyway, it's clear the period of 2005-2007, where offense - defense + luck = shot at the playoffs, is dead and gone.  For those wondering what makes this year different from the previous Carson years, it's this:  the offense now sucks, too.  It's why 3-13 is more probable than 8-8, and it shows how fragile the recent rebirth of the Bengals was.  We were being intentionally pessimistic with our season preview at 3-13, now that's looking like the upside.

Notice I use the word "too" as some people have been giving the defense credit.  No team gives up two TDs like the ones we gave up and gets to call itself good.  Those things do not happen to good defenses.  Even average ones.  And just you wait until we face a real team.

At NYC's Bengals Headquarters, Phebe's Tavern, we went to whiskey early and often.  Beer specials be damned.  More than a few people contemplated donating their gear to the homeless wandering the streets.  Wouldn't that be fitting...NYCs vagrants all decked out in Bengals gear.  Finally a fan base worthy of the franchise itself.

FUCK.

Comments

[A Pragmatic Bengals Fan]

Well said. You'll like my entry from tonight.

[Scott Ricketts]

This must be what it was like to be a Tampa Bay fan in the 70's.

[Andrew Simon]

I saw a bum wearing a Ki-Jana jersey in LONDON one time. True story. I gave him a high five and half my sandwich.

[JMo]

Andrew, I spit up my gatorade laughting when I read this, priceless. Its not funny to laugh at the homless, but I was not expecting to read that. Wow got to love it WHO DEY!