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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Vegas Has No Confidence in Bengals | Main | Fat Clause in Jeremi Johnson's Contract? »

September 03, 2008

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If we lose to a quarterback who's named after a failed Taco Bell value menu offering, we officially enter cartoon territory. However, with Frank Walker, Corey Ivey, and, maybe, Haruki Nakamura filling in for McAlister, Rolle, and Reed, respectively, Gregg coming off of knee surgery, Ray Lewis older and more injured, and Tavares Gooden concussed, I'm expecting a less exotic and much less effective Ravens defense. That should bode well for Carson, T.J., Chad, and Ben Utecht to get their passing rhythms perfected before going to see Mr. Haynesworth next week.

Bengals 34 Baltimore 6, by which I mean that the Ravens are that bad, not that we're that good. It's kind of like starting your season at Youngstown State.

The Ravens are TERRIBLE. This is a must win....not just for the playoffs, but my sanity.

I hate Raven's stadium but it is where Carson solidified himself as the real deal back in 2004. His 4th quarter was flawless. I'll never forget when he threw to the corner of the endzone for the game winning TD and just blew the ball right past Ed Reed at his peak. Awesome.

All I remember from that Raven's game was Palmer dropping a 15 yard crossing pattern into Housh's chest between two layers of zone defenders. One of the best moments of my Bengals rooting career when I could exhale and say Carson's gonna be good. And I'm pretty sure John Navarre made his only NFL start that day and I made money off of his suckitude.

Thats Right Bitches, you lost to the Ravens. Joe Flacco n my boys beat ur asses like a bunch of bengal cubs. your offense did nothing Palmer got 99 yards and he is a joke, while Perry got 42 yards. That is why they r 0-3 and we r 2-0 cant wait to beat u in the jungle. the whole team has this ego that they r the team. i do feel bad for marvin tho he needs to get rid of the whole team n get a high school team to play

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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