I've been avoiding the media talk for the last 30 hours, but I turned on Monday Night Football and it was halftime and Berman had to make a snide remark about the whole Bengals 0 win thing. Then the next segment he was asked about the Cowboys and he said they would have people open against the Bengals in week 5. He's so cool. I wish I could be a big ball of fat. When Ole Yeller was out of commission someone went out back and shot him in the face. When Berman went out of commission 13 years ago they gave him more spots to make bad jokes and look like a big tan bald bowling ball. If Chris Berman circled the wagons I would nuke the wagons. And then nuke it again to make sure any Berman cockroach offspring didn't survive. He makes me want to not live in a world where espn reigns supreme. If he was an ordinary guy, he would spend most of his time at the local coffee shop while people slowly avoided geting into conversations with him as he tried to talk about the latest heart murmer he had. When will the murmer become a rabble and his heart keels into itself.