Carson: Flee for Your Life

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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

Preamble
IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

Introduction

WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

Manifesto Demands

THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

September 29, 2008

The Chickster summarizes the desperation of the situation for our beloved Bengals. Here's the money quote:

"Palmer wanted to play, but a 20-mule team of Bengals’ doctors, trainers and head coach Marvin Lewis said no."

Sadly, Chick is not being figurative when he describes the crack medical staff as a "20 mule" team. Donkeys are literally "working" on Carson's elbow...with surgery clearly to be followed by...you guessed it, Dr Nick. (Cincinnati's medical reputation is pretty good actually, why do the Bengals not benefit from this?)

Message to Carson: RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! And once you get proper care from someone else, request to be released from this team so you can save your career.

Posted by Sleeping With Bieniemy on September 29, 2008 at 01:33 PM | Permalink

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Last time I checked, Carson Palmer was an adult. Why would Children's Hospital help him?

Posted by: Bengal Bill | September 29, 2008 at 03:06 PM

There's more than one link up there, my friend...just making the point that Cincy isn't exactly a backwater for medicine.

Regardless, I'd consider Carson more of an adult if he spoke up forcefully about the rapidly deteriorating situation around him. He is The Franchise after all.

http://whodeyrevolution.typepad.com/whodeyrevolution/2008/09/carson-for-the.html

Posted by: Sleeping With Bieniemy | September 29, 2008 at 03:30 PM

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Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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September 29, 2008