Which is more painful?
With a kick in the nuts...you experience actual physical pain which can last from a few seconds to a matter of minutes. If you are a Bengals fan, the pain can last anywhere from a few plays to 17 years (the amount of time the Bengals have gone without a playoff win).
I know a lot of you are thinking that this is an easy choice, being a Bengals fan is way more painful, but lets not jump to conclusions. Lets talk this out.
As a Bengals fan, there is the potential for upside. Back in 2005, we had a winning record. Every game we, as fans, knew the team had a chance to win. We had a pro-bowl quarterback, the best wide receiving core in the league, and an unstoppable offensive line. On a bad day, we could score 25 points, and if things did not go our way, we just played it off as, "they tried their best and just got unlucky". There was no pain in being a Bengals fan in 2005.
With a kick in the nuts, there is no upside. You are getting kicked...in the nuts. You will experience pain that travels from the actual nuts through your abdomen, up the chest and into your head. When was the last time a Bengals game made you fall to the floor crying? (That may have a been a trick question).
But again, with a kick in the nuts, it is only a temporary situation. When you get kicked in the nuts, you do not go through days/weeks/months of reading articles or listening to interviews about why your favorite football team is "finally going to turn the corner". There is no false hope created that "this is the year". You don't have to talk to your friends and co-workers about why your team is better than theirs, when clearly nothing has been addressed to improve even the slightest problem. There is no draft with a kick in the nuts, where you, as an avid fan and a person with above average football intelligence, knows who the team should pick, only for them to make the wrong move time after time after time.
If Mike Brown came over and kicked you in the nuts, it would be very easy to stand up and kick him back...there...retribution served. But with being a Bengals fan...what are we able to do? Become steelers fans...you know there is no chance that is happening. I would gladly take a kick in the nuts than have to call myself a fan of steely mcpole or whatever. I guess we either accept our fate as being a horrible football franchise (which I am not willing to do)...or do our part by telling Mike Brown exactly how it feels to be a part of his football family day after day.
So...I guess my point is...being a Bengals fan is just like getting kicked in the nuts.
What do you think?
Poo Dey.
Clarification - is it only one kick in the nuts? Or is it a kick in the nuts 16 Sunday's a year?
Posted by: Brosef Stalin | September 18, 2008 at 11:22 AM