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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Chad Johnson: A Summary of His Value as a Bengal in 2008 (UPDATED) | Main | Odom Injured »

July 28, 2008

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Since I have started writing this post Peko has been driven off the ball by 5 yards.

It is pretty sad that the future of our D-line rests on Peko (who consistently gets blown off the ball,) Shirley (who was suspended more often than he played in college,) and Sims (one year wonder in college.)

If all else fails, Mikey could just keep Jeremy Johnson on his diet of chocolate donuts and malt shakes, and let him play interior d-line.

Call me an optimist or just consider me driven completely insane by 17 years of Mike the Mediocre's reign but I've got this feeling...

Jason Shirley, off the field aside for a moment, is a freaking beast. He's taller, heavier, faster, more athletic, and as strong as either Ellis or Dorsey(and, yeah, I was one of the people screaming at Mikey and Marv as the Saints made our move up to 7)). In the little film I've seen, he just manhandles opposing interior linemen like a kid with toys. Did I mention he's ginormous?

I figure eventually one of these knucklehead picks has got to put his past behind him and pay dividends for the team, For the moment, I'm betting on Jason "What's Bigger Than A Refrigerator" Shirley.

Also, Sims slipped from what should have been a high second to where we got him primarily because his commitment to football was questioned by some over his taking a year off football at Auburn when his mother passed away. Judging by his play in the SEC last year, he took care of his family obligations and was pretty damned focused on his game.

Would I have liked to be going into camp with Ellis holding out instead of Rivers- and without Rivers or Sims as a result? As of this moment, no.

Pretty well agreed on Shirley. I think he's got some serious potential. So did Chris Henry but hopefully this dude pans out. He's definitely a wildebeast.

But that hair! Sweet lord Peko has got some great hair...the kids LOVE it.

If Shirley works out I am not willing to give ownership credit beyond the laws of probability finally working in our favor to make one of these character risks finally pan out.

If Sims and Shirley both work out and Rivers is as good as advertised I am not willing to give credit to shrewd insight by ownership on draft day. It will be as you said, lucky inaction.

I'm just trying to imagine how it would feel, for once, to bring some defensive terror to our opponents. A Jason Shirley, say, in the middle to prompt opposing centers to wear Depends under their uniform pants. Kind of like the Ravens fans must have felt watching Ray Lewis in his prime. He scares me even through the television screen.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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