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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the eighteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Stadium Lease Poised to Strike Again and Again | Main | Dead Weight »

July 10, 2008

Quote of the Day: Troy Blackburn Edition

I've got a laundry list of gems from this A$$hole, but I wanted to build on Comrade Klinglered's post on the sweet stadium deal the Bengals "negotiated".  This was a statement by Troy discussing the deal after it was signed.

“This deal, it gives us the ability to compete in the average of the NFL,” said Mr. Blackburn. “And if we're about the average of the NFL, that's fine. That's good enough. We're not going to do much better than that in Cincinnati.”

Comrades in arms, that is a PUBLIC statement by our ownership saying they are hoping to be average after signing a deal that gives them rights to all revenues from a stadium that will cost potentially over a $1 billion in taxpayer money.  Hoping to be average?!  Good enough for Cincinnati?!  This makes me so furious I am going to the Stoned Crow right now to drink away the pain.

Hey, Troy, F*** YOU.

UPDATED:  Make that:  Hey, Troy, the guy who married into everyone's dream job, F*** YOU.

Here's the full article by John Byczkowski with the quote (towards the bottom, it's long).

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And that is why the only absolutes in life are death, taxes, and the Bengals being terrible.

I love that Troy has to live with that quote being easily found with a simple internet search the rest of his life. Fantastic.

Don't you think that this might be taken out of context? I think he meant in terms of the stadium itself they will be competitive. Not what they put together on the field regarding coaches and personel.

It speaks to the mediocre mentality of management even if he is speaking in the context of revenues, which it is not entirely clear that he is. Estimates at that time were that the stadium revenues would bring us into the top third of the league which is still not average regardless of context.

Besides, why ruin such a beautiful quote by trying to tell me it's out of context. At best, it's the most extraordinary Freudian slip of all time.

Also, in case you were wondering (which I'm sure you're not), I did drink away the pain at Stoned Crow. It was good.

Great post--and yeah, who cares if the quote is taken slightly out of context. Troy Blackburn is a public spokesman for the Bengal's organization, and he should realize that any comparisons to mediocrity should be avoided. But that's just the thing--he doesn't get it. There are innumerable quotes that illustrate that our ownership is fine with mediocrity--both on and off the field. So here's to another 8-8 season! Woo-Hoo!

I read on espn.com today that the Steelers, Jags, and Rams may be bought out by new ownership. If you want to see me get really excited, tell me that the Bengals are going to get bought out.

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MikeyBoy Brown Twitter Updates

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 17 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .348 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (97-181 in 17 seasons)

      15-23 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      6 3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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