Mike Brown to Fans: I Refuse to Change

Perhaps I'm reading between the lines too much here, but considering Mike Brown makes one public appearance per year, I'm left with little material from which to psychoanalyze our stoic, shell of an owner.  Since Bengals.com provided us with a series of roughly five outtakes from the wayward son, I will do my best to respond to each and try to expound upon what the hermit-like Brown truly meant to say.  The following excerpts are taken from Bengals.com, available here.

On the potential for an uncapped season in 2010:

"It depends on how it's structured. We've been able to fend here," Brown said at the annual training camp media luncheon. "We don't have the revenues other teams have and we have cut the cloth accordingly and we do. And yet I think we can make it work doing it the way we're doing it. We can be competitive."

Yes, Mike, you have "cut the cloth accordingly."  By which, I take it, you mean that you bilked Bengals fans, Hamilton County taxpayers, and the city of Cincinnati out of millions upon millions of dollars for your own personal financial gain without the slightest regard for putting together the semblence of a professional team.  Bravo, Scrooge McDuck.

And as for 'competitive,' last I checked, we have the longest streak WITHOUT a playoff win in the NFL.  So if by competitive, you mean "worst in the league," then yes, we are competitive.  Jackass.

On the character issue:

Brown also said the Bengals have made a point of looking for good citizens as well as good citizens [sic]. Yet he also made it clear he still has that soft spot for second chances.

Translation: I will pretend that I have learned my lesson, but I have not learned my lesson.  For example:

But that said, Brown followed by saying the club now looks at character more than it has before, although he did defend fifth-round pick Jason Shirley, a Fresno State defensive tackle they chose despite a DUI charge. The first trial ended in a hung jury and Shirley faces another one next month.

"He's a talented kid. A pleasant kid," Brown said. "I'm not sure I know what happened. I lean toward him and want him to get through this and get his life straightened out and come in here and be a productive player."

Note what Brown said first: "He's a talented kid."  Um, so were Chris Henry, Odell Thurman, etc, etc, etc.  When will you learn?

On his propensity to give people a second chance:

"I guess the world is divided up between redeemers and non-redeemers," Brown said. "I happen to be a redeemer. I think people can be made better and right. If that's a fault, so be it."

If I truly believed that your motivation behind offering a second chance was some sort of gesture of compassion, it would probably be the one positive aspect of your ineffectual ownership.  But I'm gonna go with my gut--I think you give guys a second chance because they are typically available at bargain-basement prices.  That's my opinion...and if I'm wrong, so be it. 

In addition, as Comrade Simon has pointed out, the roots of your illogical loyalty probably have more to do with a deep-seeded emotional attachment to what happened to Paul Brown up in Cleveland, and less to do  with any admirable character trait you possess.  I mean, why else would you keep Dave Shula on for so long?  He was a TERRIBLE coach, and probably not that cool of a guy--must be something else going on there.

Overall, if anything is clear, it is that Mike Brown will not change...EVER.  Bengals' Nation, I IMPLORE YOU to see this!  Every year, his comments reinforce this fact--he will not change, nor does he believe he should!  He thinks the Bengals are fine!  He makes no mention of the fact that he has NEVER WON A PLAYOFF GAME.  EVER.  What more do we have to say?  Demand that he step down!  I can't take it anymore!  It's time for the Revolution!!!

Comments

[Raphael]

You've got to love this third-party description of Mike Brown from ESPN.com:

"Owner Mike Brown said Tuesday he still believes in giving players chances to turn their lives around. Brown has a history of welcoming players back after they break the law."

What a miserly wad.

Also: Reggie Rembert. Why knock the Buckeyes? Who else can Ohioans turn to for good news in October? Get a new girlfriend before you dump the old standby. In other words, knock the Bucks once the Bengals are good. But until then, be a bit more perspicacious about who you knock.

[Todd]

After reading the interview with Mikey, it's clear he has done some remarkable mental gymnastics to arrive at his delusional interpretation of how he has managed this franchise. He manages to paint himself as a some sort of patron saint of wayward NFL athletes...a stunningly self-serving and arrogant thing to believe.