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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Why oh Why Carson | Main | Mike Brown to Fans: I Refuse to Change »

July 22, 2008

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If I had to choose between Ohio State and Carson Palmer punching me in the face - I would clearly take that magical right hand right across my jaw every day of the week.

I obviously agree with your post. I was just having a little fun with Carson's bad sense to ever be in that hot dog ad. That is an ad Brady Quinn should be in not #9 (not that there's anything wrong with that). Carson's a USC alum so of course he's going to hate the bucks its the biggest college football game this year and next year. Buckeye fans are idiots (and yes as an OSU alum I count myself amoung the large idiot OSU contigent) that's why we are the most obnoxious reviled fans of any team in America and also get to represent and be the face of the great state of Ohio!!!

To be clear, the post wasn't directed at you in the least. On the heals of yours, I thought I should just make mention of it. Yours is obviously in jest. Apologies was for the harsh words for some OSU fans. I definitely admire OSU loyalty/dedication but it is so great that it is annoying to everyone else...especially when certain of them start making fun of #9 (not you aside from the hot dog thing, which was a poor career decision)

I freely admit/I'm proud of it in a demented way, that we are the most annoying fan base ever and i can't even begin to imagine how bad we most be if you don't like the bucks. Pretty much we are a bunch of passionate idiots who will overreact to the slights provocation and right now after the last two title games we may be a tad oversensative!!! Plus we are the closest thing to soccer hooligans America has so we have that going for us. Just look at columbus crew fans fighting westham fans the other day you know they were just gearing up for football season in Columbus. Columbus is where they sell the stupid t-shirts that say "Columbus: a drinking town with a football problem" and there's way to much truth to that. So taken in that context with nothing else going on in C-bus/Ohio in July and people counting down the days until the season starts (only 39 days) I don't see the reaction as unexpected.

So I am not the only one that has tried to root for OSU, and uncontrollably switched my allegiance to the opposing team by the time the second quarter starts? Phew, I thought I was alone there.

Most football fans are either die-hard college football or die-hard NFL. I am the latter. I bleed Black and Orange. And sure, I wouldn't mind seeing OSU kick some ass, but I could really care less at the end of the day. And Carson was a Trojan--probably the best college program of all time. Of course he has the right to root for his team. OSU fans can go screw themselves.

I echo Ironton Mike. I will pull for the Buckeyes every Saturday, but I will side with the Bengals every time. Carson Palmer wants his college alma mater to win football games - huge deal.

I hate the fact that in today's society, athletes (or politicians) are afraid to say ANYTHING that is in any way offensive to any other segment of the population, which is why we athletes spit out the same generic answers ("We are just taking this one game at a time") and politicians refuse to give Americans the down and dirty truth.

So, basically what I am saying is that Buckeye fans are to blame for the subprime mortgage crisis.

Why stop at subprime when it is clear they are responsible for the freeze up in credit markets in general?

I am first and foremost an NFL football fan and college football fan second. I root for OSU to the extent I care about college football. However, if UC develops a decent program (which it looks like they are starting to do), I reserve the right to root for them instead.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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