The 5 Worst Bengal QB's of the Mike Brown Era

Some of you might have seen this already but pro-football reference recently put out a list on the worst QB’s of all time. I’m sure everybody out there in Bengaldom will be shocked to learn that some of our very own hometown heroes made the list. Unlike the folks over at pro-football reference, I didn’t use some fancy mathematical formula to create my list of the five worst Bengal QB’s of the Mike Brown era. I just used my substantial and ever expanding gut.

For my rankings I wanted guys the Bengals played because the organization thought this player provided the team with its best chance to win. I didn’t want guys who started out of necessity because injuries ahead of them on the depth chart forced them into action. Sadly this meant I had to cut Paul Justin, (you may remember Paul for having one of the best buckstaches of all time - even though he wasn’t from the Buckeye State - he deserves an honorary exemption for that magnificent thing) Erik Wilhelm, Scott Covington, Eric Kresser, and Don Hollis from the list.

So without further ado here is the five worst starting QB’s Mike Brown ever signed a pay check for:

5) Neil O'Donnell:  It’s depressing to remember how Neil O’Donnell was a blockbuster free agent signing for the Bengals. The Bengals decided it was a good idea to give him a four year, $17 million contract before the 1998 season. Yet he was so underwhelming at the helm of the Bengals he was released after only one season with the team (the Bengals sputtered through another 3-13 in 1998). I mostly remember that Neil never wanted to take any risks with the ball. Eric Bieniemy definitely loved catching swing passes on 3rd and long from Neil. His numbers weren’t terrible but he was just a boring player on an awful team. On the positive side Neil brought great joy to me when he faked a spike against the Steelers and threw a 25-yard touchdown pass to Carl Pickens as the Bengals pulled out a last second come from behind 25-20 victory. All in all I think I would have liked Neil more if he didn’t have that creepy looking beard.   

4) David Klingler: My namesake on this site was another in the long line of appallingly bad draft choices by Mike Brown. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Troy Vincent might have been a slightly better selection with the 6th pick in the 1992 draft (Vincent was drafted with the next pick by the Dolphins). Drafted to be Boomer’s replacement I think it’s fair to say this pick never really panned out. In Klingler’s defense I really don't think it fair to say how good he could have been considering he got murdered behind an abysmal offensive line (he took 40 sacks in 13 starts one year and just got abused), had no quality wide receivers (Jeff Query was his 2nd WR at one point), and he had a Shula for a coach whose first name wasn’t Don (Dave is now president of his Dad’s steakhouse chain).  If David Klingler was drafted into a marginally functional franchise who knows what his future would have been. As it stands I can only hope he was well compensated for his transformation into a human piñata because there’s not much else that can be said about his 4-20 record as the starting QB of the Bengals.  

3) Gus Ferotte: Good old Gus was the Bengals opening game starter in 2002. I would have ranked him worse on the list but he was so bad that he was yanked after starting just the first three games. The 2002 season started with the Bengals getting a delay of game penalty before the team could run its first play of the season and amazingly it only got worse from there. The Bengals lost their first three games with Gus starting by a combined score of 84-16. While Redskin fans remember Gus for hurting himself running into a padded wall, us Bengal fans remember Gus for producing one of the single worst plays in franchise history. This right handed QB threw a left handed pass that was intercepted by Browns defensive lineman, Kenard Lang. Fittingly Bengal head coaching legend Dick Lebeau started Gus the next week and got what he deserved as the Bengals got plastered 30-3 by the Falcons. After the Bengals went 2-14 in 2002 Gus was mercifully released, but Bengals fans will never forget him throwing that left handed duck.  

2) Scott Mitchell: The big burly left hander was easily the slowest person to ever to play the QB position. Calling him a statute in the pocket is being kind.  I believe Drew Bledsoe smoked him in the forty.  So why on earth would the Bengals think it was a great idea to start him 5 games in 2000? I mean how bad could he be?  It turns out he finished the year with a QB rating of 50.8! WOW that's bad! I'd be stumped for why they gave him even five starts but I think it had something to do with the team not wanting to play the man who ranks number one on this list.  At least Scott Mitchell was still fast enough to be able to hand it off to CD when Corey ran for the single game rushing record (as a side note Mitchell went 0-5 passing that game and the next guy on the list went 2-9 for 34 yards, just thought you’d like to know that little nugget of ineptness).

1) Akili Smith: On this pick pro-football reference and me are in complete agreement.  They ranked him as the worst QB in Bengal history, and it was because Akili was absolutely atrocious. Akili parlayed one good year of college football at Oregon into becoming the 3rd pick of the 1999 draft. Mike Brown was obviously smitten with Akili skills because he refused Mike Ditka’s trade offer of nine Saints draft picks in return for just the 3rd pick (Mike clearly knew the Bengals were just one player away from returning to glory because why would a team as bad as the Bengals need all of those picks? It’s not like the roster had any holes or anything, ugh this still infuriates me to this day). Unfortunately Akili’s road to superstardom never got on track after a rookie year training camp holdout, and the decision to draft Akili sealed the extension of the lost decade into the new millennium.  For all of Akili’s warts as a player (he had no touch on his throws, he couldn’t learn the playbook, he made terrible decisions with the football, the list goes on and on) he did play one glorious football game as a Bengal. That game came in his first start against the then expansion Browns. Akili led the winless Bengals on an 80-yard touchdown drive in the final 2:04 of the game. The drive was capped by a TD pass to Carl Pickens (I’d love to hear what he had to say about the organization since he's no longer contractual prohibited from speaking about it) as the Bengals won 18-17. He then proceeded to taunt the dog pound whom I’m pretty sure had to take a break from eating Alpo to ponder whether Tim Couch was the right choice at the top of the draft (What did the fine people of Ohio ever do to anybody to deserve these two god awful football teams? Wait, don’t answer that). I’m sad to report that Akili Smith’s career never again reached the lofty heights of his fine first start, and in his 17 starts for the team the Bengals went 3-14.  Even with all the other ineptitude at the QB position Akili's is still undeniable the worst QB of the Mike Brown era.  

At this point any of you still reading are probably wondering how Jon Kitna avoided making my list. I can’t deny that Kitna was awful in 2001. In fact he was so awful pro-football reference measured him as the worst QB in the NFL that year. There isn’t any rationally reason for why Dick Lebeau, Bob Bratkowski and the rest of the Bengals brain trust let Kitna attempt a league high 581 passes that season. His 22 interceptions compared to only 12 touchdowns led to a QB rating of 61.1, but since this is my list I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. Jon “Willie” Kitna is special not just because he overcame having baby hands and rag for a throwing arm but for the way he led the Bengals during their magical 2003 campaign. The 2003 season is why he can never make my worst Bengal QB’s list (warning an extended tangent follows about why 2003 will always be one of my favorite seasons and why the more things change the more they stay the same with the Bengals only now we have Carson as our saving grace).  

The 2003 campaign was extraordinary because just for a fleeting instance it seemed somewhat plausible that maybe just maybe the Bengals could/would make the playoffs (or at the very least have a winning record for the first time since 1990). The fact that they blew their season by losing the last game of the year to the Browns is water under the bridge at this point (at least I don’t remember any of the game since I vomited on the lady in front of me sometime during the second quarter, don’t worry it was all liquid and she had a leather jacket on so I just wiped it right off). 2003 was great because professional football mattered in Cincinnati again. Two of the best games ever played at PBS happened that year as the Bengals beat both the undefeated Chiefs after Chad’s guarantee and then won a shootout in the snow against T.O. and the 49ers. Thinking back on the season the most amazing part to me is how unbelievably quick the Bengals resurgence in fan support happened. I couldn’t give away my tickets before that year and all of the sudden the Bengals bandwagon ballooned in size. For a team that was as good as dead to the city after going 2-14 in 2002 people sure changed their attitudes fast (43,544 tickets were sold for the 2002 season finale and you know there weren’t more than 30,000 in the stands to see Nick Luchey rumble for two 4th quarter TD’s as the Bengals got their 2nd win of the season). Kitna went from being openly mocked to being so popular that he was able to start a trend that ended up being the hottest X-MAS gift of the year in Cincinnati. Anybody that owns a black hat with an orange cross on it knows what I’m speaking of (the Catholic Store in Madeira had to make a fortune off those hats but really anything black and orange flew off the shelves and straight into the Brown family’s pockets that holiday season). 2003 was at the time an unreal season but unfortunately like everything else has in Bengal history it ended badly. 

To my surprise the support level hasn’t dropped since 2003 even as the team has failed to meet increased expectations (expectations couldn't have been any lower before). The city of Cincinnati and Bengals fans everywhere are still starved for a winner. We’ve suffered through all these lousy seasons and watched all these craptastic QB’s I’ve listed above suck behind center and we have nothing to show for it (one loss in the playoffs certainly doesn’t count).  It seems the Bengals have arrived at a crossroads; the recent mediocrity just won’t cut it anymore. They can deliver on all their promise or they can start a slow desent back down into the funk that engulfed the franchise during all those lost seasons. What excuses do they have left? Regrettably with all the stunning incompetence shown by the franchise over the years I find little reason to believe the Bengals will do the things necessary to win a championship. The Bengals organization says they want to win but as Marvin is now fond of saying “I see better than I hear.” I hope I'm wrong and maybe I'm just depressed after compiling this list of awfulness but as a long suffereing Bengals fan I don't see where the change is going to come from this year.   At least Carson is the QB now so we've got that going for us.

Comments

[Sly Vramavomovich]

The lady you threw up on didn't want to turn around and get more whiskey and coneys on her face instead of her jacket.

[Steve Mayne]

Excellent article that reminds us all of the necessity of the Revolution. We can't sit back and let Mike Brown lead us once again into the Dark Ages. Pro Football, more than any other sport, is set up for parity, but Brown has managed to negate the inherent fairness of the system (Draft order, salary cap, etc) with pure incompetence and greed. We have an undeniably talented, franchise-caliber QB--the single most sought after asset in the NFL--that we stumbled into by shear luck. Now it's time for them to do something with the talent they have in place--in fact, it's past time.

[Klinglered]

Jeff Blake was the only other QB of the era i left out but since I loved the "Shake and Blake" show so much he didn't find his way onto the list that and the bengals brain trust signed Neil O'Donnell double the money to replace Blake. So he got a pass.