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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« 2008 vs. 2007 - Personnel Comparison by Position | Main | The Superbowl Champion Cincinnati Bengals. Why Not? »

May 13, 2008

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Hurts to say this is spot on. Good post.

Let me just state for the record that I hate Ben Roethlisberger and, then, completely omit commenting on the Steelers preview.

Agreed on the Browns. They really played over their heads last year. Shaun Rogers is every bit as likely to be a fat flop as he is to shore up the run defense. Bodden is a huge loss. I see Anderson as that rookie pitching phenom with all the gaudy stats, standing on the brink of having to go through the league all over again- as a known quantity.

My Bengals questions/comments:

Will Mike and Marv finally put the team before their newfound ethical stand and trade Chad after June 1?

TJ isn't a #1 receiver. He's gonna have all sorts of problems trying to make plays being doubled and jammed at the line. That said, can either Simpson or Caldwell- maybe even Gabriel, provide enough of a threat to free TJ up?

Regardless of whether Rudi is in fine fettle or Chris Perry is finally healthy, if we get no more push off the ball in the middle than we did last year, this return of focus to the running game may be nothing but an exercise in futility. Can Ghiaciuc man up? Will it be Andrews pairing up with Bobby Williams at guard?

How much of a pounding will Carson end up taking, faced with third and long all season- thanks to that innovative Bratkowski playcalling?

I have this weird feeling that Jason "Don't Call Me" Shirley is going to be a devastating force in the middle of our D-Line, right next to a rotation of Peko and Sims. Opposing centers will see his film and remember to pack extra drawers before their trip to PBS.

At some point during the season, particularly if it's going poorly, Mike Brown will be shanghai'd by subversive Bengal rebels and pictures of him next to various tourist attractions will crop up on the internets. No one will notice he's gone.


I disagree about your characterization of the Steak Roth. It is a delicious pepper-crusted filet. Who wants crab getting in the way of their steak?

I will recommend not to hold back until you earn enough money to order all you need! You should just take the mortgage loans or just short term loan and feel yourself comfortable

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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