The Curse of David Fulcher

In college, my roommate and I rediscovered original Nintendo, the last remnant of our untainted youth, and more importantly Tecmo Super Bowl, the wondrously complex game of glory, defeat, the jumping high five and surging bomb deep in the face of pressure.

Everyone knows Bo Jackson dominated the Tecmo Super Bowl landscape the same way Richelieu laid waste to Europe a couple hundred years ago. But few people know David “Tiger Hawk” Fulcher could single-handedly shut down a running game while simultaneously covering 3 receivers 60 yards downfield.

Every time my roommate’s vaunted Raiders squared off against my crafty Bengals (the flea flicker is the backbone of the Bengal’s playbook), the house’s circuit breaker would blow out by halftime. There was just too much carnage on the field.

Over fifteen years ago, Fulcher roamed Riverfront like Blackbeard took to the seas. Then, in what we now realize is classic Mike Brown, Fulcher signed a deal with another team, taking his tenacity and ruthlessness with him. Since then, the Bengals have been plagued by the likes of Bo Orlando, Cory Hall and Dexter Jackson.

The curse of Fulcher? Wouldn’t count it out.

Since his departure for the Raiders, I can’t think of a single good defensive back besides Ashley Ambrose, who briefly resurrected his career so he could fleece New Orleans into one more payday.

Fulcher was quite possibly the best defensive Bengal in the team’s history. I know, you’re probably saying right now that Dan “Duddy” Wilkinson and Rod “Toast” Jones need to be considered, but outside of those two fabled defenders, no one else makes the cut. Fulcher, in his career, amassed three straight Pro Bowl appearances (It’s unverified, but that number is probably 2 more than anyone else in team defensive history), 31 interceptions, and 8.5 sacks. All while playing with only one leg. That’s right, he had a wooden peg leg, stemming from a freak pirating incident before he decided to play ball. You probably couldn’t notice it because of how shitty TV viewing was before HD, and we’re used to our safeties looking a leg slow anyways.

Attention Mike Brown: we need more one legged hard hitting defensive players out there. Dexter Jackson need not apply.

Comments

[RobWein]

I'll go with Kenny "The Rattler" Riley and Reggie Williams over Fulch, but that's about it.
RW

[John A. Schizzle]

Fulrock was the baddest MF'er in TSB. If you had Fulcher in "excellent" condition, you would have 4 picks, 8 sacks, and at least 30 tackles in that one game.

The problem with playing with the Bengals was that when you threw the ball to Ickey Woods out of the backfield he always fumbled the fucking ball.

You are still my boy Ickey, but GOD DAMN.

[Slate]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure Bo Jackson wasn't on Tecmo Super Bowl. I believe he was only featured on the original Tecmo Bowl.