Brown to Millen, "Can You Top This?"

In a show of disrespect to Lions GM Matt Millen, Mike Brown has recently called him out for horning in on his formula for failure.

"I used to respect Matt Millen for his innovative draft approach," Brown said at a Press Conference inside his mansion made of gold. "But now I'm beginning to feel like he needs to stop trying to be like the Bengals. Signing Kitna is one thing. I understand that. All my scouts in the know rave about his small hands and faith in the almighty to convert that wobbly 20 yard out. But I can't stand pat while some other guy steals my thunder on draft day. Well I will stand pat, but you understand the figurative sense of the saying."

"First off, I learned a great deal from Mike Brown before I became a GM. HIs shrewd maneuvers and bold strategies have built the Bengals into the powderkeg they are today," Millen said. "But I am insulted by his claim that I am stealing anyhting from him. My draft strategy is simple. I write down a ranked list of receivers and hand it to the NFL before the draft. I go golfing. The NFL then selects the highest ranked receiver on the list for me when the Lions are up every round."

Mike Brown couldn't be reached for further comment, but he did send our headquarters a personal scouting report scrapbook of his favorite draft picks.

Justin Smith - Opposing Scout in AFC North - "No mental grasp of game. Run counters and misdirection plays against him. Has one move; Bull Rush. Never Swims or Spins. We'll miss him."

Akili Smith - Opposing Scout in AFC North - "Successful TV actor on Chappelle's Show. Catchphrase, I'M RICH, BITCH."

Chris Perry - Anonymous Scout - "His body is made out of particle board. Or has Rocco Baldelli's Disease. Or both."

Dan Wilkinson - MIke Brown - "Had to draft him after personal workout. He ate a 96 ounce steak in 16 seconds. Thought it correllated well with Draft Analysts saying he could swallow up a running game."

Comments

[Nick]

Actually, The Bengals drafted Justin Smith because he impressed Tim Krumrie with his wrestling ability. No joke. Krumrie said he liked to sneak up behind prospects before the meeting/workout and wrestle them. Justin Smith put up a good fight and Krumrie gave Mike Brown his assurance that Smith was worth the 4th pick in the draft. No joke.

[Klinglered]

And I hope you got the pure joy I did from repeatedly seeing Krumrie on espn highlights chicken fighting with Glenn Dorsey. That old bastard still has it, good times USA